MacGyver quotes

Still having illusions that you are a political prisoner, Demetri?

That's what I am, you bedbug.

Natalia

Is he really schizophrenic, or is he political?

Pete

He's ill. Why do you ask?

There are... different modes of treatment.

Pete

Maria, are you sure you can handle your part of this plan?

My part is simple, they take advantage of cheap labor from the village. But yours, MacGyver, is… it's a bit mad.

Yah, that's the idea.

When James Bond gets an assignment, he probably ends up on the Riviera, up to his 007's in bikinis. Me? I end up 80 miles past nowhere. Courtesy of my good friend, Peter Thornton.

When James Bond gets an assignment, it's on the Riviera, up to his 007 in bikinis. Me? I end up 80 miles past nowhere. Courtesy of my buddy, Pete Thornton. New operations director of the Phoenix Foundation. And the guy who conned me into running a security test at STRADA, Strategy Research and Development Administration, run by a military hard-nose named Colonel Scott Woodward... who didn't like civilians... or civilian think-tanks like Phoenix... even after Pete's introduction.

MacGyver. Sometime consultant for the Phoenix Foundation. Alleged hockey player. Camel smuggler. Jack of all trades.

Jill Melissa Ludlum. Born in London. PhD, System Design, Oxford University, 1980. 1980-82, designed the Ludlum cybernetic circuit. 82-83... took a year off, for personal reasons. 83-86, immersed in the SRDA project. Hasn't come up for air yet. Reported to be a premiere technocrat.

A little problem here. I forgotten to bring along a card key. But you can't let something like that throw ya. Just because of a... laser trap. One of the things I used to love about the circus was the way they worked without a safety net. Scared me then, still does.... especially with a 20,000 volt laser ready to zap me.

Pete

We don't "roll the dice," we make a calculated choice. It's time we tried to think like MacGyver. His mind doesn't work like yours - or mine. We've got to put our gut to work, Woody.

Instinct doesn't cut it, Pete. We've got plans.

Pete

Woody, these bypass codes are never gonna get us through the front door. MacGyver's got to know that by now, too. I'm sure he's looking for some other way out.

Pete, you can't be sure of anything.

If you're right, Mr. Thornton, MacGyver only has two choices for another way out. The maintenance shaft or the exhaust outlet.

Pete

Well, now we're getting somewhere.

There's a catch. Both of them are mined with explosives from the outside access ports. We only have time to dismantle one.

Pete

Mined? So you're telling me if Mac tries to exit either way before we diffuse the explosives...

He's gonna blow both of them to kingdom come.

This was a bad idea. This garbage chute is programmed to send everything into an acid bath. It can only hold 280 pounds.

I weigh 175. That means if you weigh any more than 105, we're in trouble.

I think we're OK.

I lied, I'm 108!

Look. If this works, it'll keep us from getting caught. If it doesn't, it'll keep us from getting old.

Dreams are important, otherwise sleep is just eight hours of nothing.

Thornton

Mmm, this is great. Did you make this?

You're supposed to heat it.

Thornton

Mmm, I like it cold.

I didn't think you'd go in for whipped bean curd.

You don't go to people with your problems. You come to your friends.

What're we gonna do?

Give me a couple of bobby pins.

Bobby pins? Sure.

Yeah. Great. Let me borrow this, and, uh, a couple of buttons. Make it three.

Another MacGyverism! Oh...

And let me borrow your glasses, please.

They're yours.

Yeah, thanks.

So what do we do now?

(letting down her hair, opening up her blouse) You just did it.