Tinker Dill and Eric Catchpole in “Unfinished Business”

I was in the army with a bloke who tried to top himself, once.

'ow'd he do it?

Well after a great deal of thought, he settled on hanging.

Hanging? hmm.

He found a tree with a branch that stretched right out over the sea...

Spectacular.

...and to save himself pain, he took an overdose of pills...

Wasn't leavin' anything to chance, was 'e?

...and just to make trebly sure, he decided to shoot himself.

What happened?

Well, he slipped the noose 'round his neck, cocked the pistol, swallowed the pills, and stepped out over the cliff.

...and...

Well, the jerk of the rope ruined his aim. The bullet missed his head, cut the rope, he dropped like a stone into the sea, swallowed so much salt water that he vomited up the pills, and swam back to shore a better and a wiser man Gunga Din. Last I heard he was growing chrysanth's in Yarmouth.