Lobo quotes from Krypton

Lobo

Name's Lobo. [imitating a cheering crowd] Please, stop, you're making me blush. Couple of questions: first question, who are you two shit-birds, and second question, what are you doing on this shithole of a planet? [kicking the unconscious Seg] Frag. Probably should have asked you that first. [laughs] I said, I probably should... you can't hear me.

Lobo

You two little candy asses ain't felt nothing yet. Hi.

Adam Strange

Hey, buddy. Just you back here, or is the rest of the Kiss Army over there behind the...

Lobo

[shooting him with his plasma gun] Well, he's a talker, ain't he? [Seg moves to throw a punch] [popping him in the face, knocking him backwards] Stay. Good boy.

Seg-El

Probably not much further now. It's about 7.29 minutes. Hey, and once we get to him, we say our good-byes. Right, that's the deal.

Lobo

That's the deal. The Main Man always keeps his word.

Seg-El

[to Adam] Right, we get back to Krypton.

Lobo

Oh, did you just say Craptown?

Seg-El

No, I said...

Lobo

Craptown! [laughs] You make me laugh, man. He's from Craptown! Hey, you're funny, man. Craptown - sounds like a musical with puppets. [in a high pitched-voice] "Oh, hello, my name's Seagull, and I'm the mayor of Craptown. Hello, Seagull." I'd watch the shit out of Craptown.

Lobo

The name's Lobo. [Adam coughs] Thank you! So you have heard of me, yeah? So then you'll know what my name means, yes? No? It means "he who devours his enemies' entrails and enjoys it." [laughs] I'm just jerkin' your gherkin, man. I have no idea what it means. I killed my parents before they could tell me, so...

Seg-El

Listen, uh, Lobo. Uh, we don't want to waste your time. So I got to tell, I think you got the wrong guys.

Lobo

I know I've got the wrong fraggin' guys! I know. It's why I'm going to use your intestines to strangle this saucy little minx. [motions to Adam] And then I'm going to crack open his head and drop a big old dirty deuce inside his skull.

Adam Strange

I'm-I'm sorry. I'm having a really hard time here understanding how those connect.

Lobo

I mean, just the sheer fraggin' spectacle of it all out to loosen up old Seagull's tongue over there so he can tell me where the frag the Green Goosh is!

Seg-El

Wait! Wait. Let me just say one thing.

Lobo

Is it good-bye? Better make it good-bye. It'd make more sense if it was good-bye.

Seg-El

How about Brainiac? That's who you're looking for right? The Green Gooch? It's Brainiac.

Lobo

You know, I've been spending a long time looking for that a-hole. And then something activates the shithead scanner I left here, and when I arrive, what do I find? You two ass-smears and no Brainiac. Now, why is that?

Seg-El

Because he's dead. I killed him.

Lobo

You? With your long eyelashes and your beautiful, soft skin and that smell - you smell like a meadow, nah.

Adam Strange

It's a true story. I-I can vouch for him.

Seg-El

I can take you to the body if you want.

Lobo

Counter-proposal - you tell me where his body is, or I'll paint the forest floor with your medulla oblongata.

Seg-El

No, no, no, no, no. That's not going to happen. See, we're going to take you to the body, you're going to let us go, and noting is going to get painted. Huh? Sound like a deal?

Lobo

Fine! Have it your way. But fair fraggin' warning. If there is no body there when I arrive, best believe there will be two when I leave... as in you and pretty pants over there.

Lobo

Doesn't look like he's doing much of anything to me.

Adam Strange

What the hell?

Lobo

[regenerating on the floor] Down low, dipshit. Boo. Told you I was coming for you.

Adam Strange

No freakin' way.

Lobo

Yes, freakin' way. You see, if a mother fragger won't come to the Main Man, then the Main man will come to the mother fragger.