Art Mullen quotes from Justified

Art Mullen

You've been in here for three days, and you've got no sign.

Rachel Brooks

Not no sign. His ex-wife has been packing in a lot of beer.

Art Mullen

Well, get a search warrant.

Rachel Brooks

Can't get a warrant based on beer consumption.

Art Mullen

How do you know?

Raylan Givens

We tried.

Art Mullen

Are you cold standing out here?

Raylan Givens

[without his shirt on] Not really. Why?

Art Mullen

'Cause I can't keep from staring at your nipples!

Raylan Givens

I'll be out in ten.

Art Mullen

Thank you!

Next time you're in Cincinnati, come by the gallery, I'll show you my collection. I think you'll be quite surprised.

Raylan Givens

Honestly, I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.

Art Mullen

Well, that might solve a few problems.

Art Mullen

Just what part of being under investigation confuses you, Raylan?

Raylan Givens

So many things confuse me, Art.

Art Mullen

Do you think we're going to banter here? 'Cause we're not.

Raylan Givens

[After defusing the hostage situation] I think the bourbon sealed it.

David Vasquez

You must be glad to finally find a professional use for your office bottle, huh, Chief?

Art Mullen

I don't know what you're talking about. I was just as surprised to find that in here as anybody else.

David Vasquez

It was probably the cleaning staff that left it.

Art Mullen

Yeah. Teenagers.

Raylan Givens

Hopped-up kids on a joyride to hell.

Raylan Givens

So, you want to transfer me?

Art Mullen

Honestly, Raylan, I don't know who would take you.

Art Mullen

Hell of a shot. Did you consider what might have happened if you'd missed?

Tim Gutterson

I can't carry a tune. I don't know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is, uh, barely legible. But I don't miss.

Art Mullen

So, you were out with somebody, and Tim happened to be there.

Raylan Givens

Could we not?

Art Mullen

Just suppose it could be Rachel. Are you sleeping with Rachel?

Raylan Givens

No.

Art Mullen

I don't guess Ava's looking to spend time with you. And I think I would remember if it was me.

Raylan Givens

You done?

Art Mullen

Unless, of course, you roofied me. Did you roofie me, Raylan?

Raylan Givens

Goodbye, Art.

Art Mullen

[about Rachel] She's the best marshal I've got.

Raylan Givens

You realize I'm sitting right here?

Art Mullen

I do.

Art Mullen

You're getting old.

Raylan Givens

Not as old as you.

Art Mullen

And you're a dick.

Rachel Brooks

When I was Nick's age, before my father's cancer, I thought we were the Cosbys. My parents had good jobs, there was a feast on the table after church on Sundays. Shawnee and I would ride our Huffys around the neighborhood. We had good hair, and made straight A's. Except, as my mother reminds me, that wasn't reality. The jobs weren't all that good, and my father was never a happy man even before he got sick. And Shawnee was smoking pot at 9 and running away to smoke heroin at 15.

Raylan Givens

I never bore any illusions that my family was the Cosbys.

Art Mullen

Your family wasn't funny.

Tim Gutterson

At least you got to shoot your father. Mine had the nerve to die before I got back from Basic with skills and a loaded weapon.

Raylan Givens

You didn't miss much. I thought it was gonna be way more fun than it was.

Art, I've been in Harlan 18 years. People still look at me like I'm some kinda Yankee come down to burn their crops. But this guy...

Raylan

I know my people.

Art Mullen

You're like the hillbilly whisperer. We oughta put you on Oprah.

Did she screw all your relatives? Or just you two?

Boyd Crowder

Now sir, I know you have an investigation to conduct but if you disrespect Ava one more time, I'm gonna come across this table.

Art Mullen

I think a threat against a federal officer would be a little more specific. Something more along the lines of, "If you disrespect Miss Crowder again I'll beat the ever loving shit out of ya".

Raylan Givens

You think he was telling the truth?

Art Mullen

Well he's a bank robber Raylan, why would he lie to me?

No spikes, no seeds, no helmet, no hitting.

Raylan

Nothing about no beating the shit out of a teenager though. I guess that'd be okay then.

Hey I'll call the cops.

Art Mullen

Kid, we are the cops.