JAG quotes

28 total quotes

All Seasons
 Season 1  

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Kate sends her regrets.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You know Kate?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Well enough for her to warn me, sir.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: About what?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: That's privileged information, Lieutenant.

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I can decipher computer codes in as little as 30 seconds, sir.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And as long as?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Three days, but that was in Chinese.

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I thought nuclear subs were big.
Lt. Cmdr Scott: Those are the Boomers and missile boats. We're in a tag boat; small, compact.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (bumps head) And deadly to anyone over 5'2"

Weapons Officer: What'd you fly, Lieutenant?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Tomcats
Weapons Officer: Tomcats to JAG?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I had a problem when they wouldn't give me another one.

Dirk Grover: We're not at the rendezvous?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No, sir. You do not pass 'Go', you do not collect $40 million. You go straight to jail.

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I have to plead Article 5 of the code of conduct.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Name, rank, serial number, and date of birth?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: It's the closest thing to an "I can't tell you how I'm how I'm gonna do it" article, sir.

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: We were just talking.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Harm, you and I are just talking. You and she were tangoing across the dance floor half-naked, one foot in the nearest bedroom.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And you got all that from a "Pleasure to meet you, too, Lieutenant?" Amazing.

(Meg is getting dressed for the evening in a short red dress and heels.)
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I'm on my way to meet Detective Axelrood.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Using your human approach?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: That's right.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Meaning you're wearing a dress.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Don't think you know me that well, because you don't. I'll be so subtle by the time I work my way around to asking for the file he'll barely notice.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Is it a red dress?

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sorry we're late, sir, we were misdirected.
James Reid: Is that a pilot's way of saying 'lost'?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Pilots don't get lost, Mr. Reid, just momentarily disoriented.

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: You sound like my dad.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Uh-oh. I'm in trouble when you start comparing me to your father.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: My brother?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Even worse.

Lt. Tess McKee: Marines. You know, they're the only species on the planet that will develop a crush on you if you punch them out?

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Five traps?!?!
Lt. Moore: It's what Lieutenant Pendry did the morning of his flight.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That's like preparing for a football game with five boxing matches.

(after a rough carrier landing)
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sorry, I'm a little rusty.
Lt. Tess McKee: You're not rusty, Lieutenant, you're corroded.
(Four landings later...)
Lt. Tess McKee: Thank God that's over, you're making me wish I'd joined the Air Force!

Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: If security gets any tighter, they'll be strip searching us.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I wouldn't get my hopes up, sir.

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Would you be saying this if I were a man?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes. But if you were a man, you'd have some explaining to do about the way you fill out that uniform.