Rich Santos quotes from It – Welcome to Derry

Rich Santos

You're saying it wants to eat us?

Will Hanlon

It's just a theory.

Rich Santos

It's a horrible theory!

Marge Truman

I think there's something wrong with this Coke.

[after giving her a rum and Coke] Well, nah, you got a... Air Force Coke!

Rich Santos

It tastes kinda funny.

That's the taste of freedom, son.

Rich Santos

Freedom tastes weird.

Rich Santos

Saliva actually has antiseptic properties.

Marge Truman

I don't think that's true.

Rich Santos

Who knows? Science is constantly changing.

Marge Truman

Um, quick question. What if she says no?

Will Hanlon

Say a prayer she doesn't.

Rich Santos

I don't know, man. Last time I said a prayer, my dead tío almost killed us.

Will Hanlon

Okay, well, um... no prayers then.

Marge Truman

Let me out!

Rich Santos

Remember what you said? About knights? Knights. Who sleep with something by the bed?

Marge Truman

Ye---Yeah.

Rich Santos

[sacrificing himself, dying] Well, we don't just pee in pots. We also protect fair maidens. Remember the day, that day all the guinea pigs got loose in the hallway 'cause Robbie Mueller, he broke into the science lab? That was my first week of school, and everyone went out to see it. You came out of class with a yellow sweater and a gray skirt with a string tied to your finger.

Marge Truman

You remember that?

Rich Santos

You were so pretty. I remember wondering, "¿Quién es esa?" And you saw me staring and you said, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." You didn't say it mean or anything. I didn't even know what it meant. Later when I figured it out, I remember thinking what I should have said back. "I wish I could."