Derek quotes from I'm in the Band

Mom, please, it's just dinner.

You know, I'm cool. I'm hip. I'm jiggy with a variety of things. I still don't think it's a good idea to have 3 crazy rockers in my house.

It'll be fine. They're adults.

Hey! Good evening.

Thanks so much for having us to dinner.

What a lovely home.

See? Adults.

SPEED CHAIRS!

OH-HOH! I'M GOOD! I'm good.

Got 'em knocked over. Cause I have a parrot 3 to the axel roads is a pair of sixes he gets slashed I get Burger and the rest is history!

All was a delicious, meal Beth, just pack up the leftovers and we'll be on our way.

There are no leftovers. You ate everything except for the Wax Fruit.

All right, we're out.

Wait, guys, don't go yet. Why don't we go to my garage and then jam for one of your songs? Ooh. My favorite is "Pull My Finger."

Oh, interesting bit of trivia about that song. It's about farting.

Sorry, kid. We promised to dinner, not a jam session.

Oh, that's okay. I'll only wanna play guitar for the greatest lead singer rock history.

Flattery will not get you very far. Garage is a very far, is it?

It's just outside.

To the garage!

Uh, guys!

What?

It's that way.

To that way!

TRIPP'S LEAVING THE BAND? THIS IS YOUR FAULT! MY FAULT?! STOP SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING!

Tripp

GUYS!

What?

Tripp

I'm not leaving the band.

HE'S STAYING! IT'S BECAUSE OF ME! BECAUSE OF YOU?! STOP SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING!

Tripp

Hey guys! They were having a bake sale at school today. Who wants a cupcake?

Fluff your cupcakes! (He swats the box of cupcakes out of Tripp's hands but then he picks it up again.)

We're so mad at you right now, we're all like this! (He swats the box of cupcakes out of Tripp's hands again.)

Tripp

Hey, what's going on?!?

Ash

What's going on? I don't know, because we weren't invited to the BOOGER carnival! (Gives Tripp the cupcakes but swats them out of his hands again.)

We know you're leaving us and joining Metalwolf. (Goes into the living room.)

Tripp

Wha-hey, hey! No, no no-I am NOT joining Metalwolf! I can't believe you guys would even think that!

(All cover their faces with magazines)

Tripp

"Iron Weasel Baby Fight"?! Here's a note from Ms. Dempsey. "Dear neanderthals."

Ash

Oh, that's us.

Tripp

If you're gonna act like children, the whole world's gonna see you as children. We've already got a half a million pre-orders. Reba, sign my name.

I can't believe it! Half a million people are gonna see us look like idiots!

Tripp

Or...half a million people are gonna see us look like IDIOTS!

YES! He's gonna see if he can work with us first. If he likes what he sees and we don't wimp out like that stupid Finnish band, then he'll sign us to a RECORD DEAL!

You guys do that a lot?

Tripp

No.

Not at all.

Hardly ever.

Ash

Sometimes we do this.

Alright, so let-let me get this straight...you HUMILIATED us with those ridiculous outfits. Made us perform that horrible, HORRIBLE music. Forced us to endure the psychology anguish of questioning EVERYTHING that we have EVER believed in and now you just expect us to sign a record deal with you?!

Yeah.

Great, do you have a pen?

There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

Ash

I'll walk that line.

Ash, no. You're my buddy, I can't lose you.

Ash

I must, for the good of the band. If I don't make it, give this letter to my mother (pulls out a 'Q') It was her favorite letter.

I'll make sure that she gets this.