Jerry and Barney in “Legendaddy”

Barney, what is going on?

This is mine.

I don't understand.

JJ gets a childhood, a dad, a real family, and a basketball hoop? No, no, I at least get the hoop, I'm taking it with me.

Please, just come down and talk to me.

Why? Why should I? You're lame, okay? You're just some lame, suburban dad.

Why does that make you so mad?

Because if you were going to be some [agitated] lame, suburban dad, why couldn't you have been that for me!?!?

Look, Barney, I know I screwed up.

Oh, "screwed up" doesn't even begin to describe what I've been through-

I know, I know, I KNOW! I want to fix this and I don't know how! Please, tell me what I can do! I'll do anything! [Barney continues trying to remove the hoop, Jerry briefly goes back inside and returns with a tool box] You'll never get it down like that. [gives screwdriver to Barney, who hits hoop with it like a hammer] No, Barney, Barney! Put the pointy end into the grooves. That's it, now turn it. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. [Barney begins unscrewing] I have no good excuse, Barney. It took me years before I was even able to look myself in the mirror for the way I let you down. It took courage to send me that letter. More courage than I've ever had. I owe you a lifetime of apologies, and I, I just... I have no idea where to begin.