Zoey: Oh man, this movie is scary.
Scoundrel Ted: I know, right?

The Captain: I don't know who he is, but I pictured him with a mustache.
Ted: Limit the search to guys with mustaches. Smart.
The Captain: Anyway, soon the inevitable happened. She told me she was in love with someone else. Obviously, it made me angry.
Ted: And the, that was the last time you saw her...
The Captain: ...but I gathered my composure and told her I'd do anything to keep her. I begged her not to leave. We made love that night -
Ted: [spits out drink] It's damned good brandy.

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