The people are angry. Nine weeks ago we had an election in this country, but because two states refused to certify, neither Conway nor myself received the 270 electoral votes required for victory. So they gather here every morning to exercise their magnificent right, guaranteed by the First Amendment, to let their angry voices be heard. And so Thanksgiving, Christmas, and half of January have come and gone, and all three branches of government are in crisis: the Congress is in disarray, the Supreme Court is down a justice and doomed to deadlock, and the Executive Branch is without a boss. You see, my feeling is I think the Founding Fathers, they just got tired. And really, can you blame them? I mean, you can't think of everything — black swans, Murphy's Law. I mean, at a certain point, you just have to sign off and cross your goddam fingers and hope for the best. Or, adopt flipism, a pseudo-philosophy of life in which the most important decisions are made by the flipping of a coin. It was first introduced in the Disney comic book Flip Decision — one of my favorites — in which Donald Duck is persuaded by Professor Batty to make all of the most important decisions based on the flipping of a coin. "Life is but a gamble, let flipism guide your ramble." We've had this sort of trouble before: the election of 1800, Jefferson vs. Burr. They wound up in a tie, 73 electoral votes each — that was the number required then — and that's when Congress tried to address what the Founding Fathers just couldn't imagine. And poof, the Twelfth Amendment was born, and it says that if the states don't certify, it's the House that chooses the president and the Senate that chooses the vice president. Now, the House is a bit of a mess, but the Senate is rather democratic in how they choose the VP: one person, one vote. But, if there's a tie — and this is where Donald Duck comes in — it's resolved by the toss of a coin, a solution that's elegant as hell. But then there's no elegance in modern politics; it's mostly hell. The identity of the next president of these United States is once again in the hands of a bunch of self-serving, money-hungry, boot-licking, power-seeking politicians who can be seduced or sucker-punched or blackmailed into submission. And all I need is just one more vote than the other guy. As you can see, the Founding Fathers didn't plan for this. But I did. Meet your new daddy.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I believe in you, Congressman. Do you wanna know why?
Tell me.
Because I trust ambition.
So this is a straight-up bribe?
Oh, no, Congressman. A bribe is something you can refuse.
You're a fool, Donald. You always were. You and your dumb, dead wife who you never, ever shut up about. Principled? Idealistic? A champion of the people? What did you ever actually do? Nothing. The great crusader? I don't think so. You just liked the position of the bumbling idiot that you are. The optimist. The idealist. You liked it so much that you couldn't even make a deal or move a single thing forward. You have a legacy of nothing. Sign the measure, get the Republicans off the floor, start the vote now.
Do you know what I just realized? Your initials. They're missing an "n" and a "t".
What did you think would happen when you came in here, Francis? That you could threaten me, tell me the DNC'll throw money at my primary opponent next cycle if I don't play ball? Or were you gonna flatter me? "Elder of the party" this, "bellwether senior member" that.
You know, I'm somewhat delighted that you developed a personality at this late date. But I would ask you to rethink this. To come out this way on this thing in the twilight of your career will do nothing but sully your Wikipedia page.
You have no idea, do you? No one hears you walking the halls of this building. Not anymore.
Who are you working for?
Excuse me?
I served next to your jellied spine for two decades. You've never shown an ounce of courage. You don't have what it takes for revenge. So someone must have offered you something rather sweet.
[Rasmussen says nothing. Frank turns to leave]
Take all of the two hours you need to reconsider.
Look at them. That is the look of contemplating loss. Loss, the only constituent that anyone in this room really listens to.
If you don't start turning things around, you're gonna be out on your fucking ass, you understand?
I do. [pause] I should explain something to you, Governor. If you ever talk to me like that again, I will make sure that you never win another election in your life.
Are you threatening me?
No. I'm enlightening you.
[about Usher] I like Mark, because I always know where he stands. It's usually on someone's neck.
I shouldn't be drinking coffee. I still feel a little shaky.
You don't look it.
Feel my pulse.
You seem very much in control to me.
So do you. What does that say about the two of us?
I've made a career out of dealing with problematic parts of the world. It's kind of my vocation to imagine the unimaginable.
We brought this on ourselves. We pushed too hard.
We've survived.
We isolated ourselves, Francis.
So what? We both know something the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge. There is no justice, only conquest. And let me tell you, we let them evacuate DC, we are done, Claire. We've lost.
[about Davis] She's got a quality about her, doesn't she? Attractive and dangerous. Like the urge to pet a redtail fox.
This is where the real power is. No women or presidents allowed. The former, I am not. The latter, I will be again, because I have managed to reduce a national election down to one state. And while these men here can't swing the votes of an entire nation, one measly state? Well, that they can do. And that's why I'm here. So welcome to Elysian Fields.
History is earned. You win the day. And then you win the day after. And then you do the same thing every day until you're dead. And you're remembered not for the winning, but because you never lost.
Oppenheimer was a member. That tree right over there, right under that tree, Manhattan Project was born.
And right under this one, I'm relieving myself.
I like dirt - and rocks - and facts.
No argument here. I trust only what I can hold in my hand or see on my horizon.
Well, but you can't just sit back and admire the view. I've learned you've got to grab the present by the balls. That's where the American people live.
You sound more like a salesman than a president, Mr. President.
Well, if we're Americans, then we are salesmen, right? That's our birthright. Cars and phones and a gallon of gas.
That's not how I see America. I'm a patriot. I serve.
Well, then, we salute you, General. But you serve to what purpose? So the rest of America can sell. I mean, you and I, right now, this weekend, we're here at this camp selling ourselves.
Character speaks for itself. People want a president they can trust.
No, they don't. They want a president they know. And I know them. The only future I'm interested in is the next four years. So, yes, I'm selling tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. I'm selling a boy who used to live on a peach farm who now lives in the White House. I'm selling a tomorrow that you can see and touch and feel. Now, you take that away, and I don't know what this country has left. Except a group of grown men standing around in a circle, all staring at a small screen. Looking in instead of looking out. Heck, give me a peck of dirt any day of the week.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House of Cards pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.