Concerning arresting an abused starving sodbuster wife: "Blaming her would be like blaming the night for being dark."
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
When confronting a cattle rancher who'd committed battery on an Indian boy and cut his tongue out:
DDillon
Just noticed that antelope carcass hanging there in that barn. Looks like a good fat one.
TTraych
I just shot it early this morning, down in the bottoms. I've been fixing to cut it up.
DDillon
[skeptically] YOU shot it, huh, Traych?
TTraych
Sure I did.
DDillon
With a bow and arrow? That's not a rifle wound.
TTraych
I don't know what you mean, Marshal.
DDillon
So YOU'RE the one who hurt that boy.
TTraych
It was a mistake, Marshal. One anybody might make. I seen him riding through the bottoms this morning with that carcass on his horse. Firstly, I thought it was one of my calves. So I roped him off, and the horse ran on, and...
DDillon
You took a knife to him.
TTraych
I figured it might teach all them thieving Injuns a lesson. I didn't find out 'till later it was a antelope he had.
DDillon
Traych, you are the rottenest man I ever ran into.
TTraych
Ah, let's be reasonable, Marshal. There ain't no harm done. He's just a Injun brat, worthless, sneaky--
DDillon
You're under arrest, Traych.
TTraych
I reckon I ain't gonna go along with you on that, Marshal. Not while I got a rifle in my hand. Maybe you just better come to your senses.
DDillon
I said, you're under arrest.
TTraych
You're talking mighty brave for a man with a gun on him.
DDillon
Don't do it. You haven't got a chance.
TTraych
I can try.
Commenting of Doc Adams's grumpy disposition: "What's the matter Doc? Someone pull you through a knot hole?"
I'll sleep better for it when I do sleep, though, knowing I didn't miss nothin' when I wasn't sleepin', you know."
On building a pot of coffee: "Most people just don't know how to make good coffee. In the first place, they boil the water before they put the coffee in. Any fool knows you gotta put the coffee in the cold water and bring them both to a boil together. That way you get all of the flavor. Worst thing they do, they throw away the old grounds after using them once. What they don't know is that they are throwing away the best part. You got to keep them old grounds and you add a little fresh coffee every morning and let her boil. Shoot, you don't make a cup, you build a pot. You don't really get a good pot until you've been usin' it about a week. Then it's coffee!"
On observing a prisoner Matt is releasing from jail, Chester addresses the prisoner, "You look like the dogs had you under the house."
On a long ride with Matt, Chester declares, "Why I'm so hungry, my stomach is growing teeth."
Safer than chitlins on a city folk's supper plate.
Hotter than a jug full of red ants.
If that don't put a clod in your shoe.
You couldn't burst a bird's egg with a ball-peen hammer.
This here [stew] will grow hair on your elbows.
This here [stew] will put muscles in your whiskers.
Tighter than the feathers on a prairie chicken's rump.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gunsmoke pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.