The point, Lance Corporal: we're supposed to be a recon unit of pure warrior spirit. We're out here, 40 klicks in enemy lines, and this man of God here, he's a fuckin' pog. In fact, he's an officer pog. That's one more layer of bureaucracy and unnecessary logistics, one more asshole we need to supply MREs and baby wipes for. And worst of all, worst of all, the motherfucker doesn't even carry a weapon. When push comes to shove even Rolling Stone picks up a gun but this fuckin' shill of God, he can't cover a sector, he'll never hump ammo or Claymores. This is a fuckin' war and we're here as warriors, so on top of everything else that's expected of us do we really need to drag him along and indulge in this make-believe bullshit?
Na, na, na, na, Brad. You cannot say that you like Pocahontas. The genocide of my peoples turned into a cartoon musical with a singing raccoon. I mean, think about it, dog. The real story of Pocahontas is about a bunch of white boys who come to my land, bribe the corrupt Indian chief, kill off all the warriors and fuck the Indian princess silly. Would the white man make a story about Auschwitz? Where the inmate falls in love with the guard? And they go off singing love songs, with dancing swastikas?
Poke, what the fuck are you anyway? Your wife is half white, you talk like you’re black, Most of your friends are fucking white and, every once in a while, when you feel like it, you throw in with the Indians. Is it just you’re whatever race happens to be cool at the moment?
Yeah, but they’re random. I mean, come on man, It’s not like anybody’s scoping you with an AK or anything, it’s not personal like that. You really gotta let some of this shit go.
I know this may sound weird but deep down, I kinda wanted to know what it feels like to get shot. I mean, not actually shot but, I don’t know, I just get more nervous watching a game show at home on T.V. than I do here, in all this, you know.
Yeah, it’s obvious I was wrong about invading Iraq for NAMBLA. Turns out we’re actually here to setup a forward Starbucks. And Christ, look, we’ve already inserted our fruity barista, thank you very much. Now, all we need is like some really shitty fucking music playing, like Norah Jones; a couple of high school girls getting super fat on iced lattes; a homeless guy trying to scam a key to the restroom; and some faggot writing his novel on a laptop.
Technically speaking, Brad, but... didn't your biological parents disown you when they put you up for adoption?
SBSergeant Brad 'Iceman' Colbert
Point, Ray. I was one of those unfortunates adopted by upper middle-class professionals and nurtured in an environment of learning, art and a socio-religious culture steeped in more than 2000 years of Talmudic tradition. Not everyone is lucky enough to have been raised in a whiskey tango trailer park by a bow-legged female whose sole qualification for motherhood is a womb that happened to catch a sperm of a passing truck driver.
"How's it feel now you filthy motherfuckers!? Goddamn dirty hajji motherfuckers trying to fuck with me? FUCK YOU! That's what you get when you try to ambush Marines, motherfucker, you get DEAD! Fucking bitch!
[inspecting the contents of a jihadist's wallet] Dude... these are Syrian pounds. Syrian passport... Ahmed al-Zari, born in Damascus, age 26... entered Iraq March 23.
1N1stLt. Nathaniel Fick
That was three days after we came.
MMeesh
His address in Iraq is the Palestine Hotel, in Baghdad. Restaurant is two-star, but room service is out of this world, and if you go around the corner there is a club where the ladies go. Just say you are a friend of Uday's!
CCCpt. Craig 'Encino Man' Schwetje
What does the rest of it say?
MMeesh
Purpose for entering Iraq: jihad. He put "jihad" at passport control. That's some wicked shit! Some evildoing shit, if you ask me, man.
CCCapt. Craig 'Encino Man' Schwetje
They're coming here to fight us. I wonder if President Bush will ever find out about this. This is what the President's been talking about with the war on terrorists. This is why we're here.
Those jihadists who attacked us... isn't this the exact opposite of what we want to have happen here? It's all on that guy's passport. Two weeks ago, he was still a student in Syria. He wasn't a jihadi until *we* came to Iraq.
