"Hold still, little spider, while I squash you with the window. Hey, I know it's kinda cruel, but it's part of my job." - Garfield [from the quickie "Spider"]
All S1
Quotes from Garfield
JJon
Well guys, how would you like to experience something real scary?
Garfield: Hmmm, Jon's gonna sing.
Jon: Something so spooky you'll never get over it.
Garfield: Hmmm, he's gonna sing and dance.
JJon
Don't you realize how wrong it was to try and mail Nermal to Abu Dhabi?
Garfield: You're right. Egypt's further.
Are there any questions?
Audience member: Uh, yeah! Is wrestling fixed?
Garfield: Excuse me. I should have asked, "Are there any intelligent questions? [from All About Odie]
"People who sing like that should be drug out into the street and shot. Or worse, made to listen to a tape of themselves." ~Garfield [from Garfield's Moving Experience]
"Garfield's been a very bad dog lately. I'm gonna teach him a lesson she'll never forget." ~Jon [from Mistakes Will Happen]
[to Odie] Can you imagine Pete trying to scare us?
Odie: [actually speaking] I don't know, I'm kinda scared. [from Mistakes Will Happen]
JJon
Garfield! How did you get here?
Garfield: Knowing you, it was probably economy coach.
"What luck. Jon finally gets a decent quantity of food in the house and it had to be yogurt." ~Garfield [from Twice Told Tale]
"You should never say, 'Things can't possibly get any worse.' Things'll always find a way." ~Garfield
Garfield's "Abu Dhabi" song to Nermal:
Abu Dhabi, it's far away
Abu Dhabi, that's where you'll stay
Abu Dhabi, the place to be
For any kitten who's annoying me, yeah!
Abu Dhabi, it's off the track
Abu Dhabi, now don't come back
Abu Dhabi, it's quite a thrill
For any kitten who can make me ill!
Now some take a train, and some take a plane
But I am sending you
Not on a boat, or even by goat
But in a box marked "Postage Due"
Abu Dhabi, you're what they lack
Abu Dhabi, now you're all packed
Abu Dhabi, a far commute
For any kitten who is too darn cute!
"That's the mad scientist's assistant, Igor. Mad scientists' assistants are always named Igor. It's, like, a law." ~Garfield
"For a while, [Binky] even hosted the wrestling matches. The wrestlers complained he was loud, they couldn't study their scripts." ~Garfield [from Binky Gets Cancelled, Again!]
"You know what the sad part is? This is the sixth time Jon's taken me camping, and it's still the most fun I've ever had." ~Garfield [from The Bear Facts]
"...Look what you've found. Do you know what this is, Odie? No, it's not a ball. It's the Klopman Diamond. A priceless gem, as well as a pointless running gag on a popular Saturday morning cartoon series." ~Garfield
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Garfield and Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.