Shigure Sohma quotes from Fruits Basket

I commend your discipline... you stu... pid... cat.

YOU GIRLY MAN!

Shigure

[thinking] He'll never change...

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Shigure

In the car... on the way back... he called Tohru ugly. If you lock someone up... in a dark room... for a long, long time... and mentally torture them... it leaves indelible scars.

But Akito doesn't understand. If someone can cause those scars, there is sure to be someone who can heal them. That fact gives me more than a little courage.

Shigure

And about what he said. Tohru's cute. She's adorable.

Coming from you, that sounds criminal..

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Shigure

[yawns] G'morning...

Um... Shigure, it's night. Why don't you get a normal sleep pattern?

Shigure

I became an author so I wouldn't have to.

[Notices Kisa]

Shigure

Ohh? There's a child here that looks a lot like Sat-chan. Should uncle go buy some candy?

Please tell me that's sleep talking, and that you haven't developed a paternal streak.

Shigure

Yuki-kun is cold today, as usual... [hugging Kisa]

Let go of her. Your vulgar-germs will rub off on her.

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Why the hell is Kagura here??!

I'm here for Valentines Day, silly! It's a very important day for lovers to be together!

You're not gonna find any lover in this house!

Shigure

Kyo, behave please. I don't want the house getting... you know... smashed.

Damn it! I should've left on that journey sooner! How was I supposed to know today was Valentines Day?!

It's called a calendar, stupid.

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My, my. Welcome back, Yuki! And you're with your little friends!

WHO'RE YOU CALLING HIS FRIEND?!

By the way, Yuki...

HEY!

I just received some advice from Tori-san. From now on, I'm going to deepen our bond with my forceful conviction! This is the best way!

[thinking] ...The best way is for him to give up.

Forceful... conviction? What do you mean?

I MEAN--! Yuki is my younger brother, and I am Yuki's older brother! Based on this indisputable fact, I will make this declaration! YUKI! As your older brother, I want you... [points to Yuki] ...TO SUBMIT TO ME!

[Echo] To me... to me... to me...

...GO TO HELL!

[Yuki beats up Ayame, then picks him up in his zodiac form, spins him around, and throws him in the lake]

Poor Ayame... he just doesn't get it.

Shigure

He really doesn't.

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Shigure

Hmm? You agreed to it just like that? My, arent you helpful... or could it be that you secretly got a crush on tohru?! [silence from Hatori] Ooh...Are you so unnerved its gotten your tongue-tied... I've hit the nail on the head, havent I ?!?!

I am unnerved by your utter stupidity that words fail me completely...

Shigure

Ah-hah! What's this Hatori? I don't think I've ever heard you so eager to come over! Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru? [silence from Hatori] Ah! I guessed right, didn't I? You naughty, naughty man, you!

No, I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.

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No! You don't know how a woman feels when she's in love!

Shigure

[chuckles] Oh, 'yes I do'... Well, maybe I don't have enough women to venture I guess...

Huh?

Shigure

That's your cue to shout, "Shigure, you big perv!" Roll your eyes, and slap me, whatever...

Ahh! Shigure! You big perv! [chases him whilst pummeling him in the back]

Shigure

ARGH!

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Shigure

Tohru? What's for breakfast? I'm starving... Oh. I forgot, our dear sweet Tohru has gone away.

Sounds like you forgot on purpose.

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Shigure

Jason is a bear they say lives on a mountain. You don't know much, do you?

Shut up! I knew that!

No you didn't.

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Shigure

At least this summer won't be a complete bust. I can still be happy watching the soap opera unfold.

What are you talking about?

Shigure

Wouldn't it be nice if your friendship were to, say...deepen?

Uh... still don't know what you're talking about.

[pause]

Shigure

MY GOD MAN, YOU'RE DENSE! YOU'RE AS DENSE AS AN OGRE! DENSE AS LEAD! IF A TACK IS SHARP, YOU'RE THE THING FARTHEST FROM IT! A MAN LIKE YOU HAS NO RIGHT TO HAVE SUMMER! PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE THIS PLACE AT ONCE!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Shigure

THE FACT THAT YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND AFTER I'VE MADE IT SO CRYSTAL CLEAR IS PROOF THAT YOU ARE AN IDIOT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!

[enters after hearing commotion] Wh-What's the matter?

Shigure

Tohru-kun, it's no use! Kyo-kun is wasted on you. Unlike me, he shows no promise whatsoever! You mustn't get near him!

At least I get that I'm really being made fun of!

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[Talking about Rin] I wonder what she came here to do? She seemed to be in so much pain...

Shigure

Hmmm... the truth is... Rin and I are going out.

[Dead silence]

Eh...?! Ah! R-r-really?! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried!

Shigure

Nah, I'm just pulling your leg. Sorry, sorry.

Pay attention to the circumstances before you make such flippant comments.

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I think I'll go back to the main house for New Year's.

EH?!

Shigure

Oh, my.

Just for one night. I'll come back the evening of New Year's Day.

Shigure

Something up, Yuki-kun? That doesn't sound like you. Did you hit your head?

I did not. ...I'll be going.

All right!

Shigure

Hmm...if you're going to bother going back, you should take your time--stay longer than a night.

...Well...I'm not sure of leaving the two of them alone.

KTKyo and Tohru

Shigure

[to Kyo] YOU...YOU BEAST!

I'm gonna kill you.

Shigure

Not to worry, Tohru-kun! We'll put together a plan to protect you from the evil clutches of fiendish Kyo-kun.

Ha?

[to Kyo] Beast.

I'm gonna kill you both. Together.

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Shigure

Kyo, I heard you gave Tohru a little scare while you were prowling around last night. [singsong voice]: Kyo's a stalker. Kyo's a stalker.

YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT! AND YOU- [Tohru] NEXT TIME YOU NEED SOMEONE TO WALK YOU HOME, DON'T LOOK AT ME!

That's okay. Anyway, I'd much see you here at the table like this more often. I'm glad you're eating. How do you like the food?

Hmm? [he looks at Yuki; he groans] What do you want?!

Nothing.

YOU WERE STARING AT ME?!

No, just looking.

WELL, I GUESS THERE'S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING!

Do you like it?

NO, I DON'T! [Tohru's mouth gaps open, silence]

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Shigure

By the way, this is the one and only Tohru Honda. You came to see her today, right?

Hmm? ...Oh, yes, that's right! I'm sorry about earlier. I am Yuki's older brother, Ayame.

Oh, right! Pleased to meet you!

So you really do exist. The princess I've heard so much about. [Tohru smiles nervously] A single, blooming flower trapped in a house with stinking men. Are they treating you well, princess?

Shigure [nervously]: You make it sound that she's been kidnapped.

Yuki [angrily, but coolly]: Brother, you're being rude. Stop making fun of her!

Making fun? Honestly, I'm giving Tohru nothing, but the highest respect. So princess, why don't you bring us some tea? [he pats the table] And lunch would be nice.

YKYuki and Kyo

THAT'S NOT RESPECT!

Of course; you're right. What was I thinking? Let me try again. [he holds his hand out] Come, Tohru. [they skip together] We're going out to eat!

Uh, I don't know.