[picking a Logie award up off the office table] Hey, I thought we didn’t win a Logie?
Oh, Christ! [remembering] I nicked it off the 4 Corners table. Ollie's gonna kill me.
Marty!
Negus made me do it!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The network is filming a new commercial to promote its "One Big Family" tagline.]
JWJan Whelan
We're shooting it in a way that no one need be within a 5 kilometre radius of each other.
Why?
JJan
Oh, this is television darling, everyone hates everybody else, that's why we spend so much time promoting how well we all get on... One Big Family, darling!
[studying the script for the commercial] Jan, it says here I've gotta do a high-five with the weatherman.
JJan
Brooke, no one's doing a high-five with anyone, darling. It'll just appear that way.
Good, 'cause I'm not touching him.
Hello, Mrs Rosen, thanks for coming in so early. Um, have you been to make up?
RMrs Rosen
Make up is the devil's work. Satan, his face was painted white to hide the darkness of his soul.
Right. No make up.
You want to hear this letter?
Yeah, yeah.
"Dear editor, as a big fan of Frontline and in particular Mike Moore, I'm glad he's back hosting the show. Brooke Vandenberg did a good job, but let's face it – she's no match for Mike."
Great. That's fantastic.
You want me to mail it today?
Yeah, oh, and Dom...
Use a fake name.
Yeah.
Sunday Forum's got three problems. One, it was run by a soft-cock. Two, it's presented by a soft-cock. Three, it features soft-cock and while we're at it four - the opening titles. I mean what's that all that about? Chess pieces? I mean chess is a game-
SBSteve Barrett
For soft-cocks.
Right, remove the soft-cock element.
Why do people watch interviews?
SBSteve Barrett
Uhm, I dunno, uhh for information?
Entertainment. We've turned it into a sport - who wins, who loses. It's point scoring.
[talking to himself] Now what did I come up here for? [looks at video tapes in hand] What are these?...let me retrace my steps...I was down at the canteen [to Prowsie] stay there cos....now I walk back in - Oh yeah, these are for you [Puts video tapes on Prowsie's table and leaves the office]
Soft-cock.
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