Walter Bishop quotes from Fringe

Is this you?

Peter

Yeah... My father recently took a little trip down memory lane, and for no reason has become wildly obsessed with my childhood. He also likes to check and make sure that I'm still breathing when I'm asleep, which is a little creepy.

Walter

Focus, please.

Astrid

We've been at this for five hours.

Walter

Science is patience.

Astrid

It's also slimy.

Be damned if I know what to make of it.

Walter

Well, we're all victims of our own gene pool. Someone must have peed in yours.

Peter

How's it going, Walter

Walter

I plan to urinate in 23 minutes.

Peter

Good to know.

Walter

I'm telling you because I'm going to need help unzipping my fly. I can't feel my hand

Walter

The base solution contains human DNA, male, I think. Of course, it's a mutation. Perhaps a whole new stage of human evolution. Wouldn't that be fantastic?

Peter

If we've stumbled upon a mutant? No. Fantastic's not the first word that pops into my mind.

Walter

We're all mutants. What's more remarkable is how many of us appear to be normal.

Peter

That was Olivia--Agent Jessup told her Hughes may have killed his wife and child 17 years ago.

Walter

Oh, finally some good news. I assume we can dig them up? I haven't had any bodies to examine.

Peter

I need my own bedroom. I woke up this morning to him singing an aria from Pagliacci.

Astrid

Your father has a wonderful voice.

Peter

Not when he's doing jumping jacks. And did I mention he was naked?

Walter

A good morning sets the tone for the day.

Peter

Walter, I thought that we agreed this was a stupid idea.

Walter

Oh, no, you decided. I still maintain that the principle is perfectly sound.

Peter

[to Olivia] He wants you to eat worms.

Walter

Not just worms, flatworms!

Walter

Let's see how this thing operates.

Astrid

What are you saying, that this is not a person?

Walter

My dear, I'm not certain that you're not simply a figment of my imagination.

Walter

The ride back was invigorating. The turbulence over Ohio was like being in the belly of a seizing whale. I screamed like a little girl.

Astrid

I'm sure that went over well with the rest of the passengers.

Astrid

Chicken. You're serious?

Walter

It's just a hypothesis. Why, do you think more like pork?

Astrid

Truthfully I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about what human brains would taste like.

Walter

Well then why did you ask?

Olivia

Walter? Have you made any headway?

Walter

I can't lose him again.

Olivia

Walter, I know you're worried, we all are, but we can get Peter back. We just need you to find a way to disable Tyler.

Walter

Peter always helps me. I don't know what to do. How do I do this without Peter? He always helps me.

Olivia

He helps me, too, but you can do this.

Walter

How many do you want?

Peter

I'm not hungry. I don't need any crepes.

Walter

Oh, don't be ridiculous. You were abducted, of course you need crepes!

Peter

I'm okay, Walter.

Astrid

Walter, I've got the results of the blood sample from the book.

Walter

Oh. [chuckles to himself] High concentration of capsaicin! Which means it's not blood at all. It's chili pepper juice. He must have spilled some in the book.

Peter

Well, that's great news. So, we'll add "messy" to the APB.

Walter

No, it is good news. A concentration of 970 thousand on the Scoville scale; that's one of the hottest chili peppers there is. I hypothesize that a Naga Jolokia from India, otherwise known as the King Cobra Chili. I once ate one. The flatulence was... horrible. Very embarrassing.

Walter

Hello, I'm Dr. Walter Bishop. This is test subject number six.

Peter

What happened to subjects one through five?

Walter

I believe the university settled with them out of court. They probably never had to work again. Not that they could.