Astrid Farnsworth quotes from Fringe

Astrid

Dr. Bishop, what did I tell you about experimenting with fruit? I just cleaned this lab up yesterday.

Astrid

So this thing followed him from the hospital? I'm not going to sleep for weeks.

You care for him...like a father. My father...I cannot get the thought out of my mind that...that I couldn't give him what I wanted...because of...the way that I am. That he secretly wished I could love him back in a way that he could understand. Do you think if I were more like you he would have love me more? If I was normal?

Astrid

Wait, you want to rewire his brain?

Walter

Not without his permission. It would be a minor surgery.

Peter

Minor brain surgery. Emphasis not on the minor.

Peter

Hello?

Astrid

Peter, hey, it's Astrid. Your father wanted me to inform you that there is fluid accumulating in Agent Loeb's lungs.

Walter

Tell him we need help quickly.

Astrid

He says we need help quickly.

Walter

[Gives Astrid syringe] Insert this into his IV. Let me talk to him.

Walter

Uh, hello, Peter, uh, this is me, your father, Walter Bishop.

Peter

Thank you, Walter. I know who you are.

Walter

Excellent, uh, we need to talk to that man Smith right away. He may be our best chance to save Agent Loeb's life.

Peter

I know that, but he's dead. He was shot. We're out of luck.

Walter

Well, does he still have his head? Is it still attached to his body?

Peter

Only you would ask that question seriously, yes, he still has a head.

Walter

Splendid, then perhaps in this case, death is simply an inconvenience.

Peter

What do you want me to do?

Walter

Just... stare at the lights.

Peter

Sorry, Walter, better luck next time.

Astrid

Anyone ready for lunch? [sees Peter's sleeves are cut off] What's up Chachi?

Walter

[shakes head] You did.

Olivia

Hey, what the hell's he doing?

Astrid

He thinks it will help him remember where he's heard about the red and green lights.

Olivia

Okay.

Peter

We've got good news. We think we understand how it was that Ben was abducted. Those red and green flashing lights? They put the father into a hypnagogic state.

Olivia

And we think we might've I.D.ed the woman responsible.

Walter

I have it! Christmas, Christmas leading to Christmas carols, one of which is 'Jingle Bells' which lead naturally to 'Dashing Through the Snow', which of course, inevitably leads one to Dash.

Astrid

To dash?

Walter

Dashel Kim... the man who mentioned the lights to me. I'm sure of it.

Olivia

Where is he, Walter? Can we talk to him?

Walter

Well, I guess that would depend on whether he has succeeded in killing himself or not.

Walter

Coffee yogurt.

Astrid

The synthetic compound?

Walter

Peter. When he was 13, all he would eat was coffee yogurt. Almost drove his mother to tears.

Peter

Walter, that wasn't me, that was you.

Walter

Oh?

Peter

[on his cell phone] Hello?

Walter

If that's Agent Dunham, tell her to bring some coffee yogurt.

Peter

Can you hold on for one second?

Walter

He's right about the yogurt. In case you haven't noticed, I can be quite obsessive.

Astrid

Really?

Walter

When she's finished chewing her cud, remember to brush her teeth.

Astrid

I am not brushing a cow's teeth, Walter. You know I have real work to do, right?

Astrid

The coroner's on the way with a body.

Walter

You know, this is the part of the day that I look forward to the most. When I know there's something bizarre out there, I just don't know what it is. Like a grab bag of disturbing events.

Olivia

Astrid, can you check his hard drive? I had it transferred with some of his other effects.

Astrid

I've got it right here, I'm on it.

Walter

Be sure to check his floppy disks as well.

Peter

Ah, floppy disks are a little outdated. Why don't you focus on what you do best. All yours -- [hands Walter a beaker full of goo] -- liquid brains.

Walter

Fantastic! I'll get the bone saw.

Astrid

It also gave him four extra nipples.

Peter

Maybe he mutated into an opossum.

Walter

No, opossum's have 15 mammaries, unlike most mammals, who have an even number of nipples. Hence, the one half rule regarding nipples.

Astrid

The one half nipple rule?

Peter

You just had to ask, didn't you?

Walter

The typical number of young in the litter is usually equal to half the number nipples on the animal. The number of nipples being the maximum litter size. Humans, for example, one child is the typical. Maximum, twins. Barring extraordinary cases when the young exceed the number of nipples.

Peter

God, I hope I never have to hear him say the word "nipple" again.

Walter

This is an antidote. While I can't guarantee it will actually work, I do have a recorded IQ of...

Astrid

196.

Walter

Really?

Astrid

So this thing has the claws of a lion and the fangs of a snake?

Walter

It reminds me of a woman I once knew in Cleveland.

Peter

Walter, these punctures are over four inches apart. And that would make this snake eight-feet long.

Walter

Her name was Harriet something.

Olivia

How is everything?

Peter

Well, apparently you're looking for a lion-snake named Harriet.

Peter

New York it is.

Walter

I love New York! We could catch a show! PIPPEN! [starts to sing] Cats fit on the windowsill, children fit in the snow...

Peter

Walter, you're staying here [to Astrid] I'll make it up to you.

Walter

[still singing, softly] Why do I feel I don't fit in anywhere I go?

Astrid

That is the Jackson 5, right?

Walter

[nods, sadly] Absolutely.