All right, listen up. I'm supposed to give you some fatherly and wise advice at this time in your life. Listen up, if you're wondering if a boy's thinking about you, he's not. He's thinking about sex or he's hungry, those are the only two options.
Are you trying to be funny?
No, I'm not finished, listen to me. Boys think about sex every single minute of the day. That's what they do, that's why they lie. They're gonna leave you waiting around for them to call and they won't call. They're gonna be cruel and they're gonna be misleading, and your mother wanted me to add this, that by in large football players are the worst offenders, however, I think that it pretty much crosses all lines.
Are you done?
You are beautiful, you are sensitive, you are sweet and I don't want to see you get hurt.
I love you too, dad.
You're a lousy ping-pong player, though.
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