Joan Crawford: Oh, Hedda, darling. I don't have a quiet minute today. I have to convert this dust bowl look to a desert look, work out this awful crick in my neck, and then back on the road for that goddamn Lizzie Borden routine.
Hedda Hopper: You're not having a gay old time greeting fans coast to coast?
Joan Crawford: Does a Ringling Brothers elephant have a gay old time?
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