Feud quotes

Robert Aldrich: Bette, I've made my share of steaming piles of shit, but every now and again I get a chance to work with an artist like you. Someone who isn't afraid to leap off a cliff. Most people are terrified to go anywhere near the edge. Now, that gets me excited. I'm a kid again. Everything's possible. Bette, I promise you this is gonna be the greatest horror movie ever made. And Baby Jane's the greatest part you'll play since Margo Channing.

Bette Davis: All right, answer this question, and don't lie. Why this picture?

Robert Aldrich: Honestly? I'm not being offered anything else.

Joan Crawford: She actually claimed she coined the term "Oscar." Can you believe that? Back when she nabbed the award for "Dangerous" in '35, she told the press that its posterior reminded her of her first husband's ass. His middle name was Oscar. No one ever called him that. It was just more of her bullshit. His name was Harmon. Everyone called him Ham.

Peter: Joanie, do you have to keep doing that?

Joan Crawford: [thinking he's talking about her nighttime routine] What? It keeps my elbows supple.

Peter: I wasn't talking about that. Do you realize from the time we got in the car tonight, all through dinner and now, all you've done is complain about Bette Davis?

Joan Crawford: Oh, that is not true.

Peter: It is. And I'll be honest, I don't understand it. You two have so much in common. More than any two other people on the planet. Why can't you just get along?

Joan Crawford: Don't you think I've tried? Back when she won that Oscar, I was the first person to send a congratulatory note and a bouquet. And you know that I never heard back. Not a word. Radio silence. And this after she tried to screw my boyfriend. Franchot was her co-star in that picture, you know.

Peter: Yes, you mentioned that at dinner.

Joan Crawford: She knew he was mine. That's why she tried to take him away. But he rejected her advances, of course. Told me everything. So then I married him, out of spite. Do you realize that Bette Davis is responsible for one of my failed marriages? Personally responsible.

Peter: And yet you still wanted her to do this picture with you. I think it's because you two survived all that and you realize that you really should be friends.

Joan Crawford: Friends? You think it's friendship I want from her? Is that what you think? You're wrong. It's respect. It's the only thing I have ever wanted from her. Or any of them, for that matter. And it's the one thing I've never gotten. It took me until "Mildred Pierce" to be taken seriously as an actress. And when I won my Oscar, do you think I received any congratulatory notes or bouquets?

Peter: No.

Joan Crawford: But I did. From men. Men whose admiration I already had and whose respect I never craved. But not the women. None of the bitches in this town. Least of all Queen Bitch, who always thought she was better than me, more talented than me.

Peter: You admire her.

Joan Crawford: I admire her talent and her craft. And I will have her respect. Even if I have to kill both of us to get it.

Reporter: Miss Davis, care to comment on the fact that Miss Crawford says you look old enough to be her mother?

Bette Davis: What's your name, sweetheart?

Reporter: Sylvia.

Bette Davis: Fuck off, Sylvia.

Joan Crawford: I know what you think of me, Bette. I know what you've always thought of me. I know what you think of my mothering. Well, I just want to say that if I appear to be overprotective or worry too much about my children, it's only because I had a mother who didn't care whether I lived or died. Threw me out like a pair of old shoes. Shipped me off to convent school when I was twelve.

Bette Davis: Maybe she was trying to protect your virtue.

Joan Crawford: Oh, no. No, no, no. That ship had sailed. She knew that.

Bette Davis: You lost your cherry when you were twelve?

Joan Crawford: Eleven.

Bette Davis: Christ! I didn't even get a tingle till I was twenty-five, and then I waited another two years before I did the deed, and that was on my goddamn honeymoon.

Joan Crawford: It's just like 1937 all over again.

Mamacita: When Hitler took Austria?

Joan Crawford: No, when they labeled me box-office poison.

Olivia de Havilland: [examining Bette's first Best Actress Oscar] Bette, what happened to this one? Did all the gold plating fall off?

Bette Davis: Rubbed off, you mean. Every night when I watch television in bed, I hold it. He's the perfect companion. He doesn't talk back. He listens. He's patient. And sometimes, when I need it, he reminds me of that perfect night when I won him, and the whole world stood up and cheered. And I was loved. God, that's sad.

Olivia de Havilland: Actually, as a woman heading toward her second divorce, I get it. I get it completely.

Joan Crawford: Oh, Hedda, darling. I don't have a quiet minute today. I have to convert this dust bowl look to a desert look, work out this awful crick in my neck, and then back on the road for that goddamn Lizzie Borden routine.

Hedda Hopper: You're not having a gay old time greeting fans coast to coast?

Joan Crawford: Does a Ringling Brothers elephant have a gay old time?

Joan Crawford: What do you want me to do, Mamacita? What, sit here by myself, toasting my memories?

Mamacita: There are many pleasures still to enjoy. New friends. You are invited to parties all the time.

Joan Crawford: I can't show my face without having a picture to discuss. If I'm not working, I might as well be dead.

Robert Aldrich: The crazy irony is that we were all going to be together on this picture. You know, the kids have all got parts. Adele's working on helping with the script. Harriet was supposed to be here enjoying it with me. Now I'm just looking around and I'm thinking, This has ruined my marriage.

Bette Davis: I'm not going to candy-coat it. Harriet is a wonderful woman. Losing her is going to be bad, it always is. I know, I've been through it four times. But I survived. And so will you.

Robert Aldrich: Twenty-four years, Bette. I don't know how to be alone.

Bette Davis: We'll be alone together.

Bette Davis: How did it feel to be the most beautiful girl in the world?

Joan Crawford: It was wonderful. The most joyous thing you could ever imagine and it was never enough. And what about you? How did it feel to be the most talented girl in the world?

Bette Davis: Great. And it was never enough.

Robert Aldrich: You know, Joan, the last time I let an actor call all the shots, I made 4 for Texas. I can't afford another bomb. If Charlotte doesn't work, I'm back making crap TV. So, I suggest you put down your fucking script, and pick up your fucking contract and give that a close fucking read.

Adam Friedman: How did you come to reconnect with Joan Crawford?

Pauline Jameson: I ran into her at LaGuardia. She was wearing a Pepto pink dress and a mask of chalk-white foundation, being wheeled through the airport with broken ankles, drunk. Alone. And for all our past difficulties, when I touched her arm, she cried. She called me "old friend" and asked me to visit her in Manhattan. She seemed very much tossed away.

Joan Crawford: Have you talked to your sister?

Cathy Crawford: Cindy and I speak all the time.

Joan Crawford: Oh, no, darling. I know you and Cindy do. Of course you do. No, I ... I was referring to your elder sister. To Christina.

Cathy Crawford: No, not recently.

Joan Crawford: My editor tells me she's been writing a book. It's about me, evidently. Alleging the most vile things. You have to understand I was at the height of my career when she was little. We never enjoyed the quality time together like I had with you and Cindy. The little time that I did have, I worked so hard at instilling the proper values in her. I only wanted her to appreciate her advantages.

Cathy Crawford: Of course, Mommie, of course.

Joan Crawford: My editor asked if I wanted to read an advance copy of the galleys, but why spend the days of your life reading something that could only hurt you?

Mamacita: It made me sad.

Adam Friedman: To say goodbye to her?

Mamacita: No, because they all showed up to say goodbye. But when she was alive, when she needed them most, no one was there.