Bella, Edward, Jacob...Immune to supernatural powers of the mind...Wait a minute, are you guys researching the Twilight books?!
We heard back from our friends at Everyone. They've agreed to compile a list of everyone who's received a payment from Purgatorium Incorporated since its inception last month. In exchange, they want me to compose a treatise on why the character of Bella should have ended up with Jacob rather than Edward. Apparently there's some kind of convention in town, and they want me to read my essay out loud in the lobby. Personally, I see no reason why they couldn't have come to some arrangement which involved all three of them, but that's not the position that Everyone has asked me to take.
Everyone never gets tired of embarrassing you, do they?
Humiliation is the favorite currency of the hacker.
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