“Pilot” · Season 1
In this episode: Ray Vecchio (7), Benton Fraser (4)
[The door to the bar crashes open as Fraser enters]
Excuse me, can I have your attention please?
[jukebox cuts off abruptly]
Thank you. Anyone carrying illegal weapons, if you would place them on the bar. You are under arrest.
[Patrons pull out numerous guns and point them at him. A knife is thrown into the wall near Fraser's head; he never even blinks]
You realize I'm going to have to confiscate that?
[Fraser and Ray are standing in Lt. Walsh's office after a gun fight broke out in a bar]
One solid oak bar, sixteen tables, twelve chairs, one etched mirror, six by nine, one antique pool table, two doors, thirty-two bottles of liquor, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon neon clock. Does this seem like a fairly accurate list of the damages, Detective Vecchio?
I don't believe the pool table was an antique, sir.
Oh, well we'll never know now, will we? Because all that's left is this bag of felt.
I sought refuge behind the item in question when the suspect pointed a shot gun in my direction and fired repeatedly, sir.
Suspect. I'm glad we finally got around to that because I would hate to think we were responsible for all this damage without a very good reason. You say you identified him by his nose?
Yes, sir.
You didn't say something about his nose, causing him to fire repeatedly into the bar?
Ah, no sir.
You just felt that his nose was so offensive that you decided to pursue and arrest him?
Captain, the suspect is a known felon and you see, I had this hunch that--
You had a hunch? [laughs] A hunch! And you coupled your hunch with with your positive identification of his nose? And this was the basis of your investigation? An investigation which resulted in injury of seven people, three with gun shot wounds, two with broken limbs, one hospitalized with a concussion, and one who claims to have been bitten by a wolf.
The wolf was just trying to help, sir.
[sarcastically] They usually are!
Okay, okay. It was the mud right? You knew it came off his shoe because when you sniffed it, it smelled like...mud! I mean, what else does mud smell like?
Perhaps it was something off the floor of the bar.
Wood? No, no, no. Beer and maybe peanut shells. And when you tasted it - which, by the way, I can't believe you put that in your mouth - you tasted the salt from the peanut shells and knew that he had been here, right?
Wrong. I guessed. I had a hunch.
No, no, no, no. You don't have hunches. I have hunches.
I had one of your hunches, Ray. Felt good.
And what was it with the mud? You put mud in your mouth.
Ray, she was looking out the window and I simply made her believe I found something.
You made her believe you were a mud-eater. I can't believe I'm sitting in the same car with you!
Where's this address?
Why? What are you gonna do? Tell him to surrender or you're gonna eat something off the curb?
One-two-seven-hundred Franklin. One officer on the scene and tell 'em not to shoot the guy in the hat.
So we got some fishing rods, a rifle last used by Chuck Conners, and a bag of rice. So what's your plan?
We wait for them to come.
Yeah? And?
Then we arrest them.
You see that's such a simple plan that the American mind automatically tends to discount it, so let me run it back to you: We wait here. Gerard and God knows who else comes - sometime when? We're not sure. And then, when we least expect it, they shoot us dead with automatic weapons. Any part I left out?
Yes. I need Gerard alive to testify, so we can't kill him.
Oh, I don't think we're in any danger of doing that.
When I graduated from the Academy my father gave me one piece of advice. He said, "Always..." No, he said, "Never..." Well, actually, he gave me two pieces of advice but I've forgotten the other one. But the important one is, "Never chase a man over a cliff."
That's supposed to mean something in Canadian, isn't it?
You know, we just took out seven guys. One more and you qualify for American citizenship.
...Listen, I just want to know if you can really smell what's in mud? 'Cause I've been following this guy... [Ray gets no response from Fraser] Are you listening to me? I can't believe it! I get my ass blown off for you and you can't even nod! [still nothing] Okay, how about winking? [nothing] Winking's against the law?!
Ah, when he gets off work can you give him this? It's the hundred he lent me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Due South pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
