Craig and Drake in “Unfinished Business”

Craig

[pops up from the dumpster] Hello.

Drake

[screams] Craig?

Craig

Are you alone?

Drake

Yeah, I'm alone.

Craig

Good. [holds out a bag of pork rinds] Pork rind?

Drake

Sure. [takes a pork rind from the bag and starts eating it] So you're the one that sent the blimp?

Craig

That's right.

Drake

[concerned] Why would you wanna take down Eric? He's your best friend.

Craig

WAS my best friend. Now that Eric's Mr. Popular pants and has a hot girlfriend, he doesn't give a rat's hat about me.

Drake

Rat's hat?

Craig

[furious] He's forgotten that I am the one who's been his best friend since we were 7 years old. That I'm the one who dried his tears when his iguana got diabetes. That I--

Drake

[He interrupts Craig] Okay, Okay, I get it, get it, get it. Just tell me how to stop him.

Craig

Ok, but first you have to promise me something.

Drake

What?

Craig

I love to sing.

Drake

[confused, steps aside] And?

Craig

And you're like a professional singer.

Drake

[still confused] You wanna sing a song with me?

Craig

I've wanted this for a long time.

Drake

Ok, ok, if you help me prove Eric's a liar, you can sing a song with me.

Craig

Excellent. Now, listen carefully. Eric, is a pacifist.

Drake

I thought he was Jewish.

Craig

A pacifist is someone who refuses to fight.

Drake

Okay...

Craig

So, if you insult Eric in front of a bunch of people, he won't fight back, and then everyone will know he was lying about standing up to you.

Drake

Uh-huh.

Craig

And then he won't be popular anymore which means he'll come crawling back to me. And don't forget our song.

Drake

I won't forget the song.

Craig

Good, I'll start practicing.