Joe quotes from Dragnet

Joe

Now you listen to me, you wide-mouth punk, we've heard just about all we want from you.

Joe

Hate will do for a start, and try to put that walnut-sized brain of yours to work on this. You keep harping about minorities...

Joe

Well Mister, you're a psycho, and they're a minority, too.

Joe

No, sir. It's no mistake. Marijuana.

Joe

Do the youngsters know what these goofballs are made of, son?

Joe

This is the city: Los Angeles, California. I work here. I'm a cop.

You got nice eyes...for a cop. [She then blows cigarette smoke in Joe's face]

Joe

And I bet your mother had a loud bark.

How much longer is this going to take, Paul?

We should have you out on bail in time for lunch.

Fine. Alright, Sgt. Friday, lead the way. Don't look so hangdog. How old did you say those two were that you say I hit?

Joe

The woman was 67; the man was 73.

Well, I'm sorry, but it isn't as if they were going to live much longer, anyway. Isn't that right?

I'd suggest that you don't say anything more, Clay.

But it's true. I am sorry.

Joe

Yeah, well sorry won't bring them back, Fillmore.

[sarcastically] The dedicated cop.

Now you have a right to remain silent, Clay. I advise you to do so.

Joe

There's no rule against him listening, is there?

Depends on what you say to him, sergeant.

Joe

Yeah, well, I'll try to be careful. Fillmore, maybe as far as you're concerned, those two people lived all the life you figure they should. But what gives you the right to end it for them? It really doesn't bother you, does it? You were in a 30 mile zone, you were doing 50, maybe 55 miles an hour. Those two people you hit were knocked 77 feet, six inches down the street from the point of impact. We believe you'd been drinking this time, too. This isn't the first time for you. You got a drunk driving record that goes back to your high school days. Every time, you've beaten it, haven't you? Down the hall there is traffic enforcement division. We've got good laws and they try and enforce them, but they have an impossible job. There are 130 miles of freeway in this city, better than six thousand miles of surface streets. Every ten minutes, there's an accident; every ten minutes, somebody like you tries to kill himself or somebody else. You blew 20 minutes of that time all by yourself. Mister, you killed two human beings; two people who were alive and breathing seconds before you ran 'em down, and you've got the monumental gall to stand here and say they wouldn't have lived much longer! You may be out on bail in a couple of hours, and if so, you take this to lunch with you: two people are lying over there in the county morgue, and you put 'em there. You were in a hurry the night you killed 'em, you're in a hurry now to see how fast you can forget. I want to wish you a lot of luck; I hope it takes the rest of your life!

You sure about the general location of that Watanabe woman.

Joe

Mrs. Pound says she lives somewhere near Little Tokyo.

If she does, she's wrapped up tighter than a fortune cookie, because we can't find her.

I hope we didn't burn anything, Joe.

No, this was the end of the line, Danny.

You and Gannon must have something the rest of us don't.

How do you mean?

You make your cases right in the building, now?

Joe

No, these two just made a simple mistake.

What's that?

Joe

They thought they worked here.

Imagine a stinking broad wiping up the sidewalk with you. That dame's as strong as an ox.

Joe

Sure, she must weigh at least 120 pounds.

What is she, a lady wrestler?

Joe

Linebacker for the Cleveland Browns.

Lousy, sloppy drunk.

Joe

Don't knock her, Forrester, she had a good reason to drink.

And what's that?

Joe

Being married to you.

I always carry them (credit cards) with me.

I hope you're not accusing me of taking them.

Joe

Well, now maybe your name's Esther Jenkins. That's what it says on these credit cards.

You can't do a thing until I talk to my attorney.

Joe

(Showing her the credit cards) Mrs. Jenkins?

Yes, those are mine alright.

(to Keegan) Alright, put your hands behind your back.

Just a minute. Who do you think you're pushing around?

Joe

We're not pushing you around, but since you don't seem to know, I'll tell you what your name is. It's Carl Keegan. You killed a realtor by the name of Lily Burnham. Just like you would have this woman (Jenkins) if she'd found out you stole these cards.

You can't prove any of that.

Joe

Well, we're gonna try.

You made a mistake, and I'm not going to pay for it.

Joe

You gonna use a credit card?

Christmas cards, huh? A little late, aren't you?

Joe

Well, I was going to send them out Monday, but we had that stakeout.

[After abandoning her newborn in a trash can] What's going to happen to me?

Joe

That's up to the court, and your conscience. Or did you throw that away too, while you were at it?