CMr. Copper
I shall be taking you to Old London town in the country of UK, ruled over by Good King Wenceslas. Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner, like savages.
[Knowing full well that that is not the truth, the Doctor raises his hand.]
'Scuse me? [Mr. Copper looks at him.] Sorry, sorry, but, um... where did you get all this from?
CMr. Copper
Well, I have a First Class Degree in Earthonomics.
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