“The Husbands of River Song” quotes from Doctor Who

We weren't sure where you'd come down.

Sorry?

In your capsule.

I'm never sure. I don't like being sure about things. One minute you're sure, the next, everyone tuns into lizards and a piano falls on your head.

A piano?

It's been a long day.

Is it sad?

Why would a diary be sad?

I don't know, it's just that… you look sad.

It's nearly full.

So?

The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary you were going to need.

He sounds awful.

I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it.

Not somebody special then?

No. But terribly useful every now and then.

When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me! [She catches the Doctor's gaze, and the two look into each other's eyes]

Hello, sweetie.

You are so doing those roots.

What, the roots of the sunset?

Don't you dare.

I'll have to check with the stars themselves.

Oh shut up! I was just keeping them talking 'til it kicks off!

How could you know?!

I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.

Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.

No, Doctor. You're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

Mmm. What do you think of the towers?

I love them.

Then why are you ignoring them?

They're ignoring me. But, then, you can't expect a monolith to love you back.

No, you can't. They've been there for millions of years, through storms and floods and wars and… time. Nobody really understands where the music comes from. It's probably something to do with the precise positions, the distance between both towers. Even the locals aren't sure. All anyone will ever tell you is that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect… when you least expect it… but always… when you need it the most… there is a song.

So, assuming tonight is all we have left…

I didn't say that.

How long… is a night on Darillium?

24 years.

[she gasps] I hate you.

No, you don't.