“Paradise Towers” quotes from Doctor Who

Are these old ladies annoying you?

No!

Are you annoying these old ladies?

No, she isn't.

Oh. [lowers his gun]

I am the chief caretaker.

And I am —

No need to tell me, I know who you are. We have been waiting for this momentous visit for so many years. You were the man who brought Paradise Towers to life, the visionary who dreamed up its pools and lifts and squares, and now you have returned to your creation. You will make all those dilapidated lifts rise and fall as they have never done before! All signs of wall-scrawl will disappear from the corridors of Paradise Towers! The floors will gleam, the windows will shine and all will be made as new! Fellow caretakers, you know who this is? This is the great architect, returned to Paradise Towers! Bid him welcome! All hail the great architect, all hail!

All hail the great architect!

What should we do with him now chief?

[beat] Kill him.

Well Kangs, I must say, there's no place like home... and this is no place like home.

[referring to an antique telephone] Are these antiques dotted about all over the building? It really is a splendid piece of audioarchitectonicalmetrasynchosity!

Well I suppose it is one way of seeing the Paradise Towers, just so long as nothing goes wrong with the lift.

What did you say?

Oh, it doesn't matter, really. It's just, it's just if the lift gets completely stuck between floors.

And the lights go out.

Oh, I hate the dark.

Why, Chiefy, I thought you were... [sees a cleaner behind the Chief, who is possessed by Kroagnon]

The Towers have become appallingly dirty.

Sorry?

The whole place is polluted with flesh. Living flesh.

Flesh? Did you say living flesh?

Yes.

But, Chief, you...

Deputy, may I remind you that there is a rulebook and the rulebook says that the orders of the Chief Caretaker are never to be questioned.

[nervous] Yes, yes, yes, of course. Of course, Chief. Unless...

Unless?

Well, I think you may recall that there are certain cases specified when the rulebook can be overridden, and that is when the Chief Caretaker...

Yes?

...just isn't the Chief Caretaker. [runs past the cleaner]

Leave him, leave him. We'll clean him up when we clean up all the others.