“Closing Time” quotes from Doctor Who

[referring to his baby son] He’s called Alfie. And what are you doing here anyway?

Yes, he likes that … Alfie. Though personally, he likes to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.

I’m sorry, what?

That’s what he calls himself.

And how’d you know that?

I speak Baby.

Of course you do.

I'm the Doctor. Here to help.

Look around. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.

So I'm your baby.

[Cheerful] You're my baby!

[holding Alfie] Hello, Stormageddon. It’s The Doctor, here to help. Be quiet. Go to sleep. No, really. Stop crying. You’ve got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the 9 to 5, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boyo. Oh, that was crabby. No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end. But you, Alfie Owens. You are so young, aren’t you? And you know, right now, everything’s ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don’t actually look like that, you know — they are rather more impressive. [uses his sonic screwdriver to make a starry sky appear on the ceiling] Yeah! You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it’s fair to say, in the language of your age, that I lived my dream. I owned the stage. Gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie.

The Cybermen — they blew up! I blew them up with love!

No, that's impossible — and also grossly sentimental and overly simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary trait to protect one's own genes — which in turn triggered a... a... uh... Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.