Idris quotes from Doctor Who

I don't understand. Who are you?

I'm the— Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go... [makes the TARDIS materialisation noise].

[disbelieving] The TARDIS?

Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me. I'm the TARDIS.

No, you're not! You're a bitey mad lady! The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box!

Yes, that's me: a Type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were young, and the first time you touched my console, you said—

[interrupting] I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known.

Then you stole me. And I stole you.

I borrowed you.

Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?

You're the TARDIS?

Yes.

My TARDIS?!

My Doctor! Oh... We have now reached the point of the conversation where you open the lock. [The Doctor unlocks the cage with his Sonic Screwdriver. Idris steps out in front of him] Are all people like this?

Like what?

So much bigger on the inside. I'm... Oh, what is that word?! It's so... big! So complicated. It's so sad...

Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter...

Yes, yes; I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I'm doing!

You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.

I always read the instructions!

There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?

That's not instructions!

There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?

"Pull to open".

Yes, and what do you do?

I push!

Every single time, seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.

I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want!

Your front doors? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?

[growls] You are not my mother!

And you are not my child.

You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just wanna say, you know, you have never been very reliable!

And you have?!

You didn't always take me where I wanted to go!

No, but I always took you where you needed to go.

I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad... I found it now.

What word?

"Alive." I'm alive!

"Alive" isn't sad...

It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here, but this is when we talked. And now, even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you.

"Goodbye..."

No. I just wanted to say, "Hello. Hello, Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you."