Bill quotes from Doctor Who

Bill, what have you done?!

I'll tell you what, old man... You better get my planet back!

Enjoy your sight, Doctor. Now see our world.

Human society is… stagnating. You've stopped moving forward. In fact, you're regressing.

Well, this isn't exactly much better.

It's safer.

Not so much for the people the Monks are killing.

The Romans killed people and saved billions more from disease. War. Famine. And barbarism.

No, wait. What about free will? You believe in free will. Your whole thing is - you made me write a 3000-word essay on free will!

Yes, well, you had free will, and look at what you did with it. Worse than that, you had history. History was saying to you, "Look, I've got some examples of fascism here for you to look at. No? Fundamentalism? No? Oh. Okay. You carry on." I had to stop you, or at least not stand in the way of someone else who wanted to. Because the guns were getting bigger, the stakes were getting higher, and any minute now, it's gonna be "Goodnight, Vienna". By the way, you never delivered that essay.

Because the world was invaded by zombie monks!

Do you have any idea how hard the past few months have been? How hard it's been to hold on to the truth? It would've been so easy to just-- to just give in and believe their lies. But I didn't. I fought against it for you! For when you came back! And now you're saying you've joined them? You're helping them? [She grabs a gun from a soldier and points it at the Doctor.]

Bill, put-- put, put the gun down.

I'm serious, Doctor. We'll think of something else. But you better tell me now. Cause-- Cause if you help the Monks, then nothing will ever stop them. They'll be here forever!

It's not a trick, it's not a plan, I have joined the Monks. Whatever it takes... I'm gonna save you from yourselves.

It's a woman! The way you and Nardole were carrying on, I thought you had a monster in here or something.

I do. Missy, Bill. Bill, Missy. The other last of the Time Lords.

Why do you put up with us (humanity), then?

In amongst seven billion, there's someone like you. That's why I put up with the rest of them.

He's an Ice Warrior.

And they're the proper martians, right? They belong here?

Yes, the indigenous species. An ancient reptilian race. They built themselves a sort of bio-mechanical armour for protection. The creature within is at one with its carapace. The Ice Warriors. They could build a city under the sand yet drench the snows of Mars with innocent blood. They could slaughter whole civilisations, yet weep at the crushing of a flower.

What, you can deal with big green Martians and, and, and rocket ships, but you can't deal with us being the police?

No, no, no, no, no. It's just such a fanciful notion. A woman in the police force.

Listen, yeah? I'm going to make allowances for your Victorian attitudes because, well, you actually are Victorian.

You sacrificed one of your own, without tactical advantage?

I didn't sacrifice him. I executed him.

Do you now expect your life to be spared?

No, no, no, no - I expect it to be taken. And I give it, willingly. [empties the bullets from his revolver]

No. No, wait, stop it. Doctor, stop it!

Shh...!

[lays his revolver and sword down] Some time ago, I was hanged for cowardice. [shows Iraxxxa the scar on his neck] The execution took longer than expected, and I fear I have not used my time well. I should be happy for you to complete the work they failed to do so long ago.

It will be a pleasure. [aims at him]

No, please, don't do this.

Bill, quiet.

He saved your life!

Your Majesty, I have a request, if that may be permitted.

Speak!

[regarding Catchlove] That man was not one of us. Please do not judge mankind by his cruelty or, indeed, by my cowardice. Spare my friends and my world.

Your request does you credit, soldier. It will be considered.

God save the Queen!

God save the Queen!

You will die with honor, with bravery, and in the service of those you swore to protect.

Thank you. You don't know what that means. Thank you.

But not today. In battle, soldier. To die in battle is the way of the warrior. Pledge your allegiance to me and my world, and I will ensure you have the opportunity.

My life and my service are yours. [takes a knee] To the end!

To the death, my friend. [places her hand on his shoulder] To the death.

[to the Doctor] You knew that would happen!

Always been my problem...

What?

Thinking like a warrior.

Are you having an emotion?

I know I can help her.

Yeah! Look at that face, he's having an emotion! Yeah! Yes, look at that bit, he's doing emotions.

Oh, leave him alone!

Can I take a selfie with you?

She was my first friends. Always so brilliant, from the first day at the Academy. So fast, so funny! She was my man crush.

I'm sorry?

Yeah. I think she was a man back then, I'm fairly sure that I was, too. It was a long time ago.

So, like, Time Lords... Bit flexible on the whole, like, "man/woman" thing, yeah?

We're the most civilized civilization in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.

But you still call yourselves "Time Lords".

(beat) Yeah, shut up.

I remember that you said you could fix this, that you could get me back, did you say that?

I did say that, yes.

Were you lying?

No.

Were you right?

...no.