Nobody likes cops in here so I had to earn their respect by starting a bunch of riots, I got thrown in solitary for a week, what's going on with your face?
I hate seeing you like this so I'm flexing my eyes real hard to keep from crying. It's okay, we can still have a normal conversation. So, how's the food?
Pay no attention to him, Rosa. He's very emotional, Rosa.
Why are you saying my first name?
Well, Rosa... I read an article on the medical journal that said one destabilizing aspect of incarceration is the constant dehumanization, Rosa. You need to be reminded that you're more than just a number, Rosa. You are Rosa... Rosa.
Is there anything we can do to help you? Anything you need done on the outside?
Jake, I'm always gonna be one step ahead of you. You've lost the ability to surprise me. Ya just plain boring.
Again, weird take on a very loving relationship.
And it's midnight, so I guess I'm an amazing human/genius.
Yeah. Although you might wanna read the inscription on that there belt.
Why? Oh, no, what does it say? [reads inscription] "Amy Santiago, will you marry me?"
[Amy turns around to see Jake on one knee holding out an engagement ring]
I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening right now.
"I'm so confused I don't know what's happening right now": title of your sex tape.
"Oh, my God, I'm shaking. I'm definitely gonna cry. [grins] Title of your sex tape. [beat] Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist? If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard.
No, please, Ames, look, it's really happening, okay? It's not part of the heist. I promise, this is real.
Yeah. Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
No, no, it's okay. Go on.
I love how much you pretend to like Die Hard.
You don't have to. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. [pause] Also, for reals, I love your butt.
Gross. [chuckles] Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
[They kiss]
[busting into the evidence room] Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped, so that ought to teach... [notices Jake's ring box] D-did you just...? [Jake nods] And did you say...? [Amy nods whilst showing her ring]
[Charles hyperventilates and faints]
[Holt is briefing the Nine-Nine on what mobster Seamus Murphy is demanding as a favour from him]
A permit to throw a block party? We don't even have to break the law! This is fantastic news!
I am not giving Seamus Murphy that permit. He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal. A robbery, a murder or something worse.
You don't know that for sure. And that's your loophole.
I don't believe in loopholes.
What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn't set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99, all I had to do was sleep there and never shower.
[Amy looks visibly disgusted]
NSNorm Scully
[outraged] What!? Thanks for the invite, friend!
This is one of several designated areas where you can stand upright during the day. You can move about freely in this square.
Wow... so we have all this room to work in?
Your hand can be seen from the living room window. You just killed Kevin.
I can't hear you Kevin, you're dead. [to Jake] He bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let's see.
We don't have to do this...
Ah, detective Peralta, how are things going with Kevin, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that?
It's Kevin's? This is devastating, I'm inconsolable. And... [snaps fingers] I've killed myself.
Cool. Well, I can see this is going to be a fun couple of months.
[Jake and a witness are viewing a line-up]
So, do you recognize any of these men?
WWitness
I was hiding in the bathroom stall, so I didn't see his face. But I heard him. He was singing along to the music at the bar.
Do you remember what he was singing?
WWitness
I think it was that song, "I Want It That Way".
Backstreet Boys. I'm familiar. Okay. [presses intercom] Number one, could you please sing the opening to "I Want It That Way"?
NONumber One
Really? Okay. [singing] You are my fire...
Number two, keep it going.
NTNumber Two
The one desire...
NTNumber Three
Believe when I say...
NFNumber Four
I want it that way.
SSuspects
Ain't nothing but a heartache...
SSuspects
Ain't nothing but a mistake...
[still singing] Now number five...
NFNumber Five
I never want to hear you say...
SSuspects
I want it that way.
Ah, chills! Literal chills!
WWitness
It was number five. Number five killed my brother.
Oh my God, I forgot about that part.
All right, listen, Fogle. We have a councilman in the hospital and his shooter is still at large. We don't have time for this incompetence. I want your partner off the case, what's his name?
DFOfficer Debbie Fogle
It's Raymond Holt.
Oh! It's Dad... I mean, Captain Holt! I mean, Captain Dad. I mean, Officer Holt. I mean, Officer Dad. Yep, that was it. Officer Dad, I found it.
FOFrank O'Sullivan
So, the Department is going to settle without admitting any wrongdoing, and, because the facts of the case will remain unresolved, there will be no suspension for Marzipan, or Peralta.
How is that possible? Peralta arrested and harassed an innocent man.
OSO'Sullivan
Oh, come on, these are cops. They gotta make split-second decisions in life-or-death situations, and they can't be expected to get that 100% accurate every single time.
This was not a life-or-death situation!
OSO'Sullivan
True, but next time it might be, and how can this one do his job if he knows that any teeny tiny lapse in judgement could end with you branding him a dirty cop and ruining his life?
I've never seen this face before. Is that-
Yes. He's made me huffy. Do you know what happens when you refuse to punish cops for their mistakes? When police are treated as a separate class of citizen- above the law? It breeds a lack of trust in the community, and that lack of trust means people won't help us with their investigations, or testify, or even call us when they're in danger. It makes them more scared of us than of criminals and gangsters! It makes them run when we approach even though they've done nothing wrong! It makes the people see us as the enemy, which leads to more confrontation, more distrust. You wonder how Peralta can do his job when he's held accountable for his actions? I wonder how any of us can do our jobs, if he's not.
OSO'Sullivan
What a bunch of bunk. The City's gonna settle, there's not gonna be any suspensions; take the win!
Wait! What if I admitted I made an error and apologized?
OSO'Sullivan
He is speaking hypothetically. You'll notice he didn't use the "s" word and he never used the "m" word.
I'm sorry. I made a mistake.
OSO'Sullivan
Holy shit! Let the record show that he didn't say anything specific.
I arrested a man without sufficient probable cause in a case I was removed from.
OSO'Sullivan
He has no idea what he's talking about.
I then followed my victim to his home-
OSO'Sullivan
[hastily moving toward the door] Now's gonna be a good time for us to-
-in an act that could only be seen as police intimidation.
OSO'Sullivan
[puts his fingers in his ears] La-la-la-la-
I take full responsibility for my mistake and I'm willing to say as much in a court of law. And what's more, I'm very, very sorry!
MJMel Jenkins
Yeah, he has to be suspended. I'm sorry.
OSO'Sullivan
Oh, don't you start. [leaves; Jenkins follows]
Wow. That was amazing, you beat him! I can't believe it actually worked out okay.
You're suspended for five months.
Right. I know. But, I deserve it, and I learned a valuable lesson from all this, so I'm counting it as a win.
I get that, Peralta. But things will be a lot better when a man doesn't have to lose his job for you to learn a lesson.
Yeah. Fair enough. Thank you, sir. [pause] It was crazy when you got huffy.
