See the view count? Only 27 people have clicked on it.
Oh. Okay, good. [looks closely at the view count and notices it reads "27K", which means 27,000, instead of 27; in tranquil fury] Sam?
Yeah?
[shrieking] THAT'S 27,000!!!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
AAAHHHH!! QUIT IT, SAM! LET GO OF MY FOOT! TOO MUCH FRICTION! LET GO! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!
WHY'D YOU FILM US AT THE AUDITIONS TODAY?
Oh, 'cause you guys were being funny.
Well, you shouldn't have put us online without our permission!!!
I didn't! I edited you guys out before I uploaded the auditions.
No, you did the opposite of that.
It says, "At your request, this video will be removed..."
Oh, good.
Finally!
"...tomorrow morning."
Aw, man!
Freddie?!
You know how many more thousands of people could view it by then?!
Alright! Look, before you get all freaked out, SplashFace has message boards.
So?
So, let's see what people are saying about the video. Um... okay, here's one: "Carly, you and your friend Sam crack me up... FUNNY STUFF!"
Ok so one person liked the video.
Wait...! SlackerBoy314 writes: "Carly and Sam, you chicks are HILARIOUS! When's your next show???" And this kid says: "You guys are way better than most of the PUKE here on SplashFace."
Wow... they love us.
Yeah. More than puke.
[First lines of the very first iCarly show]
Hey there, people of Earth! I'm Carly Shay, and this is our very first webcast of a little show we call iCarly!
She's Carly!
She's Sam!
Sam I am!
Carly, Sam.
I think they're clear.
Demonstrate the thing.
Oh, yeah. [presents her signature remote] With this item provided by our dorky friend Freddie...
THAT'S DISRESPECTFUL!
We can do this... [plays applause noises] And this... [plays groaning noises] And this. [plays rock music as she and Carly dance around]
[At beginning of episode]
Which is why I say the potato is superior to the sports bra.
And if you don't believe us, try making French fries out of a sports bra!
I came up with an insanely awesome way to get more people watching your guys' webcast!
Tell me.
We get a bunch of fireworks, right? And not the lightweight consumer-grade stuff. I'm talking Fourth of July razzle-dazzle.
Razzle-dazzle?
Yes, both! Then, at night, we launch the fireworks off the roof of our building, and they explode spelling out "iCarly.com" in the sky!
Can we really do that?
No.
What's that?
Soggy banner. Our plans to get more viewers didn't go too well.
Yeah, like how the Titanic staying afloat didn't go too well.
Come on, maybe a few people read our sign... Before the rain ruined all our hard work and made us sad.
Yeah. We could still win.
Yeah, I don't think so. I think me and Spencer are gonna win, and you two are gonna have to touch Lewbert's wart. I feel bad for you, Carly. Not for you.
Well done, Spencer. You, too, Freddie.
Thank you, Carly. In your face, Sam.
[Sam stares at Freddie]
Carly, Sam, Freddie. You cannot believe how awesome this sign looks from out here. It is so dazzlingly bright, I swear it's like-- [car crashes]
What's going on out there, Spencer?
Well, it seems our sign is so bright and dazzling, it distracted one of the drivers below. [car crashes] Actually, two of the drivers-- [another car crashes] Three of the dr-- [many cars crash] Literally, many of the drivers below are being distracted by our extremely dazzling sign.
Quick. Turn it off!
CSCarly and Sam
Turn it off!
Oh, okay. I will now turn off the sign. [pushes button, but the sign starts flickering instead of turning off]
That's not off!
Spencer.
Dude!
Oh, man, I am pressing the buttons! Literally, all of them, trying to turn off the sign.
You're gonna overload the circuits!
[sign malfunctions and goes from saying "PLEASE GO ONLINE TO iCARLY.COM" to saying "P█E██E ██ ON████ ██ █CARL█████"]
"Pee on Carl"?
[Freddie is disgusted]
Turn that off!
I am trying! It's the stupid cars! [hear car tires screeching] Don't look at the sign! Stop beholding the si-- [hears a crunch] I stepped on my taco!
Today, we have a special treat.
[raising his hand] Is it a spelling bee?
Be quiet, Gibby! You are about to be stimulated by a true performer.
[raising his hand] Ryan Seacrest?
[annoyed] GIBBY!
[Gibby quickly lowers his hand]
CSCarly/Spencer
[of the multiple boys in the apartment Carly/Spencer will end up dancing with in a dream] I don't know what's going on here... but I think I like it.
Tell me everything!
He said we should hang out some time! [Girlish screams; teacher walks by and she speaks in a fake tone] Actually, I feel that teachers should give us more homework.
Yes. More homework and more discipline.
Yes, discipline is a priority in...
[Carly and Sam watch teacher leave; they scream loud, girlish screams again]
Cinnamon buns! Cinnamon buns! Cinnamon buns!
When it comes to the part when Jake was supposed to sing, we'll just improvise and talk about something funny.
Like Freddie's haircut.
[singsong voice] I heard that!
[singsong voice] You were supposed to!
JJake
I saw you kissed his nose.
Well, yeah, but we're not dating.
[school bell rings]
Let's all get to class.
JJake
I'll see you around.
But it was just a nose kiss! Aw, come on! It was strictly nasal!
Alright, don't worry too much about this yet, just... go do your homework or something.
Kay.
I mean... YOU GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!
Yes, sir!
AND JUST SAY NO!
Always!
AND STAY IN SCHOOL!
Maybe.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.