I dress by mood.
And what mood is this?
This is Morning Mist.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[trying to make a phone call] I don't have any change. You've got any change?
No, I don't have any change. I never carry change.
Well, we need change and all I have is twenties.
I have a ten.
So, break it.
I hate asking for change. They always make a face. Like I'm asking them to donate a kidney.
So, buy something.
What?
I don't know, some mints or TicTacs.
Breath problem?
No, I just want some change.
So Kramer, what are you going to do?
Do? Do? Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done and the way I'll always do it.
Kramer, what the hell are you talking about?
What do you want me to say? That the things haven't worked out the way that I planned? That I'm struggling, barely able to keep my head above water? That L.A. is a cold place even in the middle of the summer? That it's a lonely place even when your stuck in traffic at the Hollywood Freeway? That I'm no better than a screenwriter driving a cab, a starlet turning tricks, a producer in a house he can't afford? Is that what you want me to say?
I'd like to hear that.
Yeah...
Well, I'm not saying that! You know, things are going pretty well for me here. I met a girl...
Kramer, she was murdered!
Yeah, well I wasn't looking for a long term relationship. I was on TV.
As a suspect in a serial killing.
OK, yeah, you guys got to put a negative spin on everything.
TTelemarketer
Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
TTelemarketer
Uh, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to do that.
Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
TTelemarketer
No.
Well, now you know how I feel. [hangs up; audience cheers]
No. We had a deal. There are no guarantees in life.
No, but there's karma, Kramer.
"Karma Kramer"?
So I sped home to save my friend's life and I was stopped for speeding. Yes, I admit I was speeding but it was to save a man's life! A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved and to be a banker.
The story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story otherwise it's just masturbation.
Don't you hate "To be continued" on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "To be continued" coming. You know, you're watching the show; you're into the story. There's, like, five minutes left and suddenly you realize, "Hey, they can't make it. Timmy's still stuck in the cave. There's no way they wrap this up in five minutes." I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life. A comedian can't do that, see. I can't go, "A man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm... Can you come back next week?"
They stole my wallet. The bum stole my wallet. MY WALLET'S GONE! MY WALLET'S GONE! I had my wallet in my back pocket. It’s gone.
NNurse
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure. I went in to get my X-ray. Somebody takes my wallet. Is that the operation here?
Just tell him that you're my boyfriend and that we're in love, okay? Can you do that?
Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm your boyfriend... Have we been intimate?
Yeah, yeah, we've been intimate.
How often do we do it?
Kramer, how is that important? Honestly, do you really think he's gonna ask you that?
Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that.
Alright, alright. We do it, uh...five times a week, okay?
Oooh, baby.
If you don't think she's beautiful, there's something wrong with you.
She's pretty. She's not beautiful.
I should drop dead if she's not beautiful.
I think that's a little extreme.
LLeo
She's alright.
He's a bubble boy!
A bubble boy?!
Yes. A bubble boy.
What's a bubble boy?
He lives in a bubble.
Boy.
[trying to avoid hearing Naomi's obnoxious laugh]
NNaomi
I thought you liked to laugh. I thought you were happy-go-lucky.
No, nah. I'm not happy and I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky.
NNaomi
Hahahaha.
That's not funny, Naomi. I didn't mean to be funny there. Why don't you check the TV Guide. I think, uh, Holocaust is on.
(reading one of the letters) "Dear Henry, last night with you was bliss. I fear my..orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't how how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, John...P.S. Loved the cabin."
Maybe I'll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they're all "laid out for me".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.