BBlandy
Billy? I thought I was marrying Grim.
ABAdult Billy
[to Grim, angrily] I'LL KILL YOU!
AMAdult Mandy
Remember, kids: Love only leads to pain.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Captain Deadwood, they called him. But don't let the name fool you... He's not REALLY a captain...
BMrs. Butterbean
Thank you, Pud'n, for that... Interesting show-and-tell...
I don't need your pathetic sympathy!
Mrs. Butterbean [angrily talk to the mean old caveman, Fred Flintstone, drove roughly in Mrs. Butterbean's car] You do know, that now you'd kidnapped me, I expect to be married.
[doorbell rings]
Grim. Door. Now.
[Grim walks off screen and returns with Billy and Irwin]
Here you go, your highness. Count Idiot and Lord Weenie.
Billy [sobbing]: Goodbye old friend, may you find you destiny in the future, mighty Jake Steel. The future, where cars will fly and we'd all have nano machines in our bloodstream that will enable us to tell the time without a watch. The future... the FUTURE.
He's not dead, Billy. We just re-buried him in your front yard. What a waste of an episode.
[after turning into a penguin] Wait a minute, my spirit animal is a penguin? I was hoping for a tyrannosaurus.
That's not fair! I'm a captain! And if I go, I'm taking all my girls with me!
FCFootball Coach
Fine! Mandy's way better than you, anyway.
Listen here, Mandy! If you'll become captain. I swear! I will never, ever, EVER speak to you again!
Well, I can't pass up that offer. I'll do it.
Uh! [growls] You...AGGGHHHH! [anger mumbling)
[Eris turns into a praying mantis and eats Hoss Delgado alive]
EEris
When a praying mantis devours her mate, it's because she loves him. When I do it, it's because I'M CRAZY! HAHAHAHA!
You've never truly been loved until you've been eaten by a giant bug.
Mister Skarr, there's a candy bar in the pool!
Ahh, Billy! [spots Billy's parents] ...And some other people.
[Skarr has been transformed into a plant-like creature]
You know, Skarr, there's something different about you lately. I can't quite squeeze my finger on it.
Different? [laughs nervously and gulps] It must be my... healthy glow of victory.
No... it's your hair! [indicates the giant leaf growing out of Skarr's head] You finally got one!
Billy, how would you like to see something REALLY special?
Ooh! Is it a lady covered in ants wearing a loaf of bread as a hat, 'cuz I'd really like to see that, mmm-hmm.
[bewildered] N-No.
What do you want, bonehead?
Billy's off to his Grammy's for the day, so I guess you have custody.
No can do, slim.
Huh?
This is the one day of the year that's all about me.
But I thought every day was all about Mandy.
True, but this is the one day of the year that I pamper myself. Manicure, pedicure, facial, massage. The works.
[Grim looks confused]
Okay, I sit on the couch, stuff myself with cheesy foam and watch demolition derby. The point is, I need a break!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.