NPNigel Planter
So, will you help me?
Nope.
Not really.
Who cares?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
: Dorko Malfly [waves the wand and to Nigel Planter] I hope your show turning into a cartoon! [Dorko laughs evilly]
So there I was, facing 12 feet poop elves. Didn't have anywhere to run-
Umm, excuse me, but how could they be elves if they were 12 feet tall?
HDHoss Degaldo
It was a leap year.
But, that still doesn't explain-
HDHoss Degaldo
You sharpshooting me, Goodpudding?
Uh, I was just-
Are you stepping in my cornflakes?!
No, I was just-
HDHoss Degaldo
Lemme tell you something about stepping into people's cornflakes... it's a weird way to eat cornflakes.
[interrupts Goodvibes] Come on, Goodvibes, out with it! Is our little Remus on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?
Well, I think...
[pulls out a giant green spork] Think hard.
EEris
Do you like lobster, Mr. Goodpoop?
It's good VIBES, and yes, I love lobster.
EEris
How about giant alien zombie lobster?
Well, I can't really say...
[giant lobster picks up Principal Goodvibes]
Rollington Academy is for...
Geniuses! Which I is one of am!
Ask me a question. Give me a challenge. Anything at all.
Who developed the theory of relativity?
That is a trick question, Grim. Everyone knows fruit bats are mammals.
[after Billy is hit by a flying croquet ball] What? It wasn't me. If I wanted to get rid of you two, I'd use something bigger. Like a truck.
[a truck falls out of the sky and crushes him]
EEris
[indicates Hoss] This is Billy's dad. [indicates herself] I'm Billy's mom, [pulls out a trout] and this is a trout. [she proceeds to smack Goodvibes around the head with it
...Why'd you just hit me with a trout?
EEris
Because the mackerel wasn't fresh.
[Billy's mom has been transformed into a little girl]
Bread-fairy elf-gnome, indeed! You're nothin' but a filthy stranger, and my mom tells me not to accept bread from filthy strangers!
But Billy, I am your [Gladys' tic kicks in] Mommy!
My mom's ancient and grappling with the onsets of menopause.
GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Heheheh, you're fun! A little odd, but fun! I'll name you... Corn!
[At the movie theater, Billy decides what movie he wants to see]
Weeeellll... Y-I don't make any life-altering decisions without consulting my friend Mr. Bread first. [Irwin runs out of the Exploding Penguins theater]
I've sure gotta go to the bathroom, yo!
Sorry, guys, but when Bread's gots to go, he gots to go!
[Repeated throughout the episode] He's MY baby!
Don't make me use my Kung Fu...
You were on a children's Kung Fu class?
Silence, non-believer!
This pillow stuffing tastes like I'm choking! [Gagging noise]
Oh, Mandy! You're such a legpuller!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.