Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(resentfully) Your panda broke my glasses.
We'll replace them at once. We have many glasses here. We have everything you need.
Where the hell is "here"?
Your home for the time being. (dramatically) Welcome, Dr. Venture...to the Brisby-dome!
This is that ridiculous giant beehive next door to your study, isn't it? You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me fifty yards?!?
Ooohh! Ah ha ha, now I see. You know, it took me a minute, but I just got it.
Got it? So you'll come aboard?
Oh, no no no. What I just got is that you're like a total jacked up freaky-deaky crazy pants!
You KILLED my FATHER!
After you killed my partner.
You took my EYE!
After you took...my heart.
(They pause, awkwardly, and kiss)
NYET! You know I can only go to second base!
Still? After all these years?! Urrrgh! I thought the cold war was OVER!
It's always cold in Siberia.
(Lighting two cigarettes, then smoking both at the same time) You want one of these? (Throws Molotov the pack, she lights one and smokes sexily)
GARRRRRRR! (Stabs his knife into the mattress and stands up with a giant erection) I gotta go take care of something.
You don't want to shoot me, boys. You know me. You know what I'll do to you if you do.
My son has it in his head that you were in our house last night and you... killed our robot.
The seed of your loins is quite astute. I saved your mechanical man from certain damnation. For his frail, electronic eyes had gazed upon the impenetrable! He was an unwilling beholder to the impossible!
By the crimson shame of Lord Valisinta, I command you...OPENNNNNNNNNN!!
It craves... purity... it devours... purity... it seems to be... What the hell is this thing made out of?
Nothing.
Come on...
Alright fine, I might have used a few unorthodox parts.
Just tell me one!
An... (mumbles)
A what?
An... orphan.
Did you say... an orphan!?
Yeah... a little.. orphan boy..
It's powered by a forsaken child!?
Might be... kind of... I mean, I didn't use the whole thing!
Dean that's great and I can't wait to hear all about it, only Brock's stuck inside Dad's thing that makes people happy. But it's all evil.
I dare you to make less sense.
I was on the floor and I heard everything! And I have a plan!
So how come I never see you at school?
(with a hint of fear) I'm kind of home tutored in a box my pop made, (looks down with a more frightened tone) it sometimes gets very hot in the box... my pop made.
Wow. That's, um... that's screwy. (notices his face, which has gone blank) Crap, did I upset you?
(blankly) Penguins have a gland above their eyes that converts seawater to freshwater.
(note to Triana, recorded on answering machine) Greetings, pumpkin, I am at Mr. Venture's lab... to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain OF TIME ITSELF!! There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six.
So what super-cool adventure are we goin' on today? Should I get my SCUBA gear?
We're not goin' anywhere. Your father's workin' on this...thing.
SCUBA. SCUBA. SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA. Say SCUBA.
SCUBA.
SCUBA. It sounds funny. SCUBA.
SCUBA. Yeah it does.
Hank and I just woke up on the floor. We were playing Ouija, and a guy hypnotized us.
Dean...
With his magical Dracula powers.
Dean, I'm going to turn around now, and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames, and the only person who can put you out is me, because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!!!
What's this one?
"In Through The Out Door".
Can I put it on?
Rather you didn't. Zep sold out on that one. Besides...I've got memories attached to that record. Can we drop this please?
Is it because you killed a bunch of ninjas while it was playing, and so it reminds you of ninjas?
No, Hank...
How about frogmen? Does it remind you of frogmen?
IT'S A WOMAN!...The only woman I ever loved. Are you happy now?
(pouty voice) No...because you snapped at me.
You're alright, Hank. You know that? You're alright.
Heeey, if I pull this candle down, will it...?
...get wax on my carpet? Yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
