Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
You know what video would have gone viral, if we still had it? When you were five and you got dressed up as Batman and you jumped off the shed 'cause you thought you could fly.
After you jumped first.
Hey, I was nine, and I was dressed up like superman, okay? Everybody knows that Batman can't fly.
[chuckling] Well, I didn't know that. I broke my arm.
[laughing] I know you did. Man, I drove you to the E.R. on my handlebars. Hm, good times.
It's Scooby-Doo time, douche bag. Take off the mask. I know you're not Thinman. You're just a "me-me".
Ed, it's pronounced meme.
It's spelled m-e-m-e, though.
The second "e" is silent. Yeah.
You're a me-me ... a-a man-meme, and I invented you.
You roll with a guy so many years, you start to think he's always gonna be next to you. Like, when you're old and you're drinking on the porch, he'll be in that other rocking chair. And then something happens, and you realize that other chair has gone empty.
He goes missing for weeks on end without a peep? Well, not one that makes sense, anyway. Listen to this.
[Dean sets his phone on the table and plays a voicemail on speaker]
Dean. Um... [indecipherable ramblings]
Wait a second. Did he...Drunk-dial you?
Look at you. You're a mess. You know, we were counting on you. You let us down.
Your slimy followers were counting on you to kill Abaddon, and you let them down.
The man with all the mojo -- Captain Evil.
Oh, it's pathetic.
What is this? An intervention?
You need to focus, Crowley. Get a grip!
What, you just gonna let Hell go to Hell?
You don't know what it's like to be human!
[Crowley is messing with a vending machine.]
[exasperated] What is Crowley doing?
Stealing candy.
He is ... he's ... he's stealing candy.
You know, at least when Cas was human, he was an okay guy. Should've known Crowley would be a douche version... [Shouting at Crowley] Hey. Hey! Cut it out, man! Image! You're the king of rotten. Act like it.
Well, you're looking good for a guy pushing...90?
Well, thanks, sport. There's a spell for damn near everything.
[Holding the First Blade] Should we fire it up? What do you say?
Go to hell.
[Regarding the First Blade] Next time, it'll be easier. You'll get used to the feelings, even welcome them.
I did good, eh, moose? Everything on the list. You're welcome.
Remember -- stay close, do what I say, and shut the hell up.
I'm growing on you, aren't I?
You're lying to Sam like he's your wife, which kind of makes me your mistress.
You're one of them, aren't you?
Sorry. One of who?
Men of Letters... They came here in 1958.
Men of Letters... came here?
Oh, yes. It was different then.
Last time we chitchatted, we agreed that you were gonna line up Carrot Top.
Yep, well...I'm on it.
Unless Abaddon likes 10-cent wings, stale beer, and the clap, I doubt that she's here.
What's in that bottle? Delusion?
For a second there, I thought he made me.
He has other things on his mind.
But he did do exactly what you said he would. He saved you.
Of course he saved me. We're besties. And now he's ready.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
