Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Watching TV. Nikki comes in and takes the remote] Hey, what are you doing?
Watching Paul on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" He's up to the $500,000 question.
Well, I want to make sure the well doesn't collapse on the Mayor.
Janelle, even if it does, you know they'll interrupt "Millionaire".
...That's true. [Changes the channel]
[After Paul is up to $500,000] Paul, you're on fire! What is your secret?
I'M GUESSING!
[Paul is trying to decide on answering the $1 million question] Come on, Paul, say something!
Just take the money. I'll learn to love you.
And remember, don't anybody tell Paul about this 'cause he's got a big mouth!
Who has a big mouth? Tell me! I wanna know! I wanna tell other people!
Mike, are you angry at me, or are you angry at your penis?
Is that the only class you took in training school?
If you take the fall, then the whole staff goes down with you. This way, only one person gets hurt.
But why can't that person be Paul?
Make sure this Tony guy doesn't think you're still dating him.
Fine, I will die alone with 17 cats.
What's your excuse?
I have an excuse, but it's really not the time right now.
Yes it is.
Well, I flew with air Sweden yesterday.
Oh, don't tell me, you met some fancy stewardess and ended up going to her hotel.
...
Oh my god.
Stuart, says here you're with the war against pornography.
You're reading that wrong, it's the war against the war against pornography.
I thought that was a typo.
Do you remember anything about this woman?
Ehr...
You pig!
Wait, something's coming.
Stuart, Rags was swept to the street last day and accidentally taken to the pound.
He was found without a leash and than committed a G&B.
...
Growl and Bite.
Come on, you're in charge of this, make a call and set him released.
Can't do that Carter, if I release Rags we have to release that Poodle we napped for a DNR.
...
Dump -N- Run.
Hey Paul, nice suit... wait a minute, today's the Bagel.
What's the Bagel?
Every year when Paul asks the mayor for a raise he gives him... the bagel.
[Walks in] Hey Paul, hey today's the bagel.
How are we going to find a gay guy in here.
Let me do it, I'll just give him the look, if he doesn't return it, he's gay.
[Gives look to guy, guy looks away] Excuse me, you're gay right?
No.
Excuse me, but you are.
[Guy walks away]
'Couple years of therapy, he'll find it out.
You've got some nerve barging into your office telling me how to do your job!
That didn't make any sense.
I figured if I yelled, you wouldn't notice.
I have to say I'm a little surprised that Coal Valley merits a full-time Mountie.
That makes two of us. My original posting was in Cape Fullerton, but that suddenly changed.
Oh. I imagine Coal Valley will be a little quieter for you than a busy shipping port like that.
Wait, you know the place?
Very well. My father's done business in Cape Fullerton for many years.
And what's your father's name?
William Thatcher.
William Thatcher, the shipping tycoon?
Well, I don't think of him that way, but yes, I suppose he is.
Now it's all making sense.
What is?
Miss Thatcher, a week ago I had never even heard of Coal Valley. And while I was planning my trip to Cape Fullerton, I was told I was being re-assigned here. Re-assigned at the request of a very powerful man.
Surely you don't think--
What? That a very wealthy man's daughter may be why I have to eat coal dust for the next God knows how long? I'm absolutely sure that's why I'm here. To keep William Thatcher's princess from stubbing a toe in a town she had no business coming to.
To be candid, sir, I think you're way off base with that remark. And just so we're clear, even if my father did pull strings to get you here, I don't need you. I can take care of my own stubbed toes thank you very much.
You know, on second thought, it's obvious I won't have to be here long because you won't last a month in a town like this.
Well, Constable Thornton, I think you better settle in and get used to a steady diet of coal dust.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
