“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Ephram

It's like tragedy's the only thing we have in common. It's practically the reason we're friends.

Bright

So, you know, at least we all found each other. We are friends.

Ephram

But the point is, we got screwed. We're like way older than it says on our driver's licenses.

Hannah

Are we getting beamed somewhere?

Bright

How cool would that be!

Amy

You are such an ass.

Ephram

[to Bright] One of us is in trouble.

Amy

You are completely ruining her [Hannnah's] life, did you know that?

Ephram

Well, that rules me out.

Ephram

Well, you could be a gigolo.

Bright

Dude, you're forgetting I'm like, twice your size.

Ephram

No, seriously, go pro 'man whore.' Combine all your natural talents. Plus, no tie, flexible hours.

Bright

Maybe I should just join a convent.

Ephram

That's nuns!

Bright

I know.

Hannah

Wow! Sounds like the plot of a bad indie film. Maybe we could get Zach Braff to direct it.

Irv

[voiceover] People came from far to the mountain towns, I came from the North to find purpose but Doctor came from a city to escape regret. Fate had other plans for both of us. You could argue its better to be neglected by fate than well attended. When it marks you for favor, you can bet your life will change, rarely for the better, though always deeper. The most costly casualty is always the heart; nothing hurts so much as that. Like sacrificing your queen, you can still play, only you can’t help feel that the gain is already lost. But strangely, cruelly, a distraught heart keeps beating no matter how much you wish it would stop. So you take another breath. Another step. You wake again to the unsympathetic sun. You go through the motions, pretending for all the world to be a warm-bloody creature. The doctor and I, we both knew a lot about that, we both came a long way only to find that purpose doesn’t last… And regret can burn a hole through any happiness. And that, just when you think, fate is done kicking you around and maybe its time to hope again. That’s when the real surprises come.

Bright

[to Amy, walking in with package from Ephram] The guy has been in New York for like 30 minutes and he's already sent you a care package. Will that guy ever run out of ways to be your bitch?

Madison

E.C.C. was just starting to feel like a stall. Taking classes didn't really matter. People who didn't want to do much with themselves just wasn't my lifestyle anymore.

Ephram

You outgrew your beer bottle.

Andy

You have to understand something, honey - that fair doesn't always mean equal. Ephram's older and it's very different. And I promise you that when you become a teenager, you'll get the same exact treatment.

So I'll get an ugly car too.

Andy

Well, you gotta take the bad with the good.

Bright

Hannah, if you say 'thank you' or 'sorry' one more time, I think I'm gonna have to kill myself.

Hannah

Sorry.

Bright

Problems?

Hannah

Just a little frustrated with God right now. I mean, He talks to Joan of Arcadia, like, five times a week. Tells her to go out for cheerleading. My problem is way bigger, and I can't even get His attention.

Andy

I mean, I could wallow in self pity but what would be the point of that?

Nina

Oh, you don't need a point to wallow, that's the beauty of the wallow.

Amy

Do you remember saying about him that he loved you of course, that he grow up in Long Island, graduated from Juilliard but didn't like touring so he got into teaching.

Ephram

Do you remember everything I say, because that's a little scary?

Hannah

And I'll always be happy to take care of your kids for you when you and Ephram need a little nookie time.

Amy

Hannah!

Hannah

What? I've heard the stories about your grandparents.

Amy

OK, you've officially lost your maid of honor status.

[to Jake] Pin an ear back now and then. Do a little lipo. . . . You could buy a Lexus just starting with the chicks I saw last night in a bar. They were actually watching wrestling on TV, swear to God!