Thank you for the video. That wasn't what I expected to see.
No more going home for the weekends?
[pause] I am home.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Well, another year we're not going to be cheerleaders.
Why do you make me do these things? Pom-poms are stupid and pyramids made of humans freak me out. [pointing to her legs] And what are these?
These are your legs.
Have you ever seen anything so white?
One time, when I looked into the sun.
Okay, look, Riley, your father and I gave you a 7:00 curfew because we knew that even when you got all rebellious you'd still be home by 7:30.
What?
[embarrassed] Yeah.
So when you come in here at 7:07 acting all dangerous, it's hard... [cracks up] I'm sorry. I can't even keep a straight face.
What are you laughing at? I'm outta control!
Maya, you couldn't keep her out any later than that? I mean, what kind of bad influence are you?
You're right. I gotta up my game.
Hey, Mrs. Cory.
Hey, Mr. Cory.
Cor, this is real life, not a TV show. I'm not your wacky neighbor.
But, you could be!
[Riley has abandoned her family's game night to hang out with her friends]
See this? "The Family Game. The game for families." Not "The Friends Game. A game for friends." I saw that game. I didn't buy that game. I bought this one. Because I used to have a family.
Will you stop?
How could she choose her friends over us? I mean, did they burp her? Did they change her diapers?
We haven't yet, but we will when she's old.
Oh, Farkle! Where'd you get the cannon?
From my cannon guy.
Honey, hide the cake before Maya gets here.
I know, but you know what we should do? We should bring this cake to Maya's mother just in case she forgot to get her own kid a cake.
Oh, you think that could actually happen?
Honey, I grew up with Shawn Hunter. Remember his mother? She forgot where she lived.
Wait a minute, who let you in?
I have a key.
[to Cory] You gave him a key?
[to Topanga] Fine, I'll give you a key.
"Hi, I'm Riley Matthews, and these are your John Quincy Adams middle school morning announcements."
Why are you even rehearsing?
I'm going to get it perfect this time.
And you're on.
"Hewo, I'm Miley Flatshoes and these are your flurning amousenits. Today's lunch in the cafamatorium will be hot males."
"Hot tamales", I'm hoping.
Judy, I'm so glad you were able to join our little book club. Auggie is such a fan of your daughter Ava.
JMJudy Morgenstern
Oh well, who isn't? And I must say, what a surprisingly decent idea, Topanga. I think a book club is such a wonderful forum to exchange ideas and intellectual conversation.
Judy, are you British?
JMJudy Morgenstern
No, I'm just better than everyone else.
Do you remember your first date with Dad?
Aw. We were two years old, we played in the playground. No, we were eight, and we caught fireflies. No, we were in sixth grade and we kissed against the lockers. No, we threw socks into a laundry basket. No, we fell into a llama pen at the zoo. No... that was his first date with Shawn.
So you're feeling better about my Uncle Josh?
No, that's just another lump of coal I'll bury deep in my dungeon of sadness, next to my daddy issues and ballerina dreams.
Maya, I didn't know that you dreamed of being a ballerina.
I don't. I dream of ballerinas kicking me with their point toes while they're stabbing me in the face with their bun heads.
Oh. Well, you look great.
You got any money?
I never have any money.
How do we make money immediately?
What we need is a Bat Mitzvah!
Are there any special requirements?
Yeah, and I'm thinking it's gonna need to be you.
Get out! You guys have been sitting in that window all day. You know what's great about a window? There's a world outside. Go there.
(looks out the window) It looks fakey.
Get out of my house!
Why don't I get a Bat Mitzvah?
What's your Hebrew name?
Riley Matthews.
There you go. What do you want a Bat Mitzvah for?
There comes a time in a young woman's life when she just wants to sit in a room and open envelopes.
Riley, do you even know what this holy rite of passage is about?
Yes. This holy rite of passage is about 12 hours before you open the envelopes.
What do you need money for?
Buy stuff.
Specifically
Buy stuff for me-e-e-e.
Money needs to be worked for. It's pretty hard to come up with a scheme when all you've got is the clothes on your back, isn't it?
MHMaya Hart and Riley Matthews
(Looks at each other and nods)
We've lost.
She beat us.
We got crushed.
I don't like it very much.
Have I let you down?
No, Peaches. How could you ever let me down?
What kind of bad influence am I on you if I let another bad influence be a better bad influence than me in your eyes?
Hey. I will never have a better worse influence than you.
Thanks. You will always be my favorite chump.
Thanks. Would I still be your favorite even if I wasn't a chump?
You will always be my favorite, no matter what you are.
Okay, good. Because I may have to not be a chump for a minute.
But then you will again?
I know you secretly like it.
I do.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.