[To himself, after no one is helping him with the luggage] Don't anybody worry about helping me get through this door! I got it! Oh no, please, Mr. Stewart, can we help you with that luggage? Oh no, I guess I got it! Are you sure, sir? It looks awfully heavy! Oh no, y'all just enjoy your visit!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[while hitting Robbie Ray's sandwich repeatedly] Moi! Moi! Moi! Moi! Moi!
I'd be a lot happier for you if you just hadn't crushed moi sandwich!
(freezes)
(whispers) Keep walking.
DADavid Archuleta
It was the onion bagel wasn't it?!
DADavid Archuleta
Then what is it? Oh no, when I called you thought I was David Cook!
No, no, I just broke a promise I really need to keep.
DADavid Archuleta
Okay, that's cool, do what you have to do I totally understand.
Jackson Rod Stewart! It's nine in the morning! I want your rear in gear, in your car, on your way to higher education in the next two MINUTES!
Hey-o! My aching back! Jackson, wake up!
(wakes up) Miley Stewart's Hannah Montana! Oh no, I just gave out the secret!
What secret? She announced her eighth final farewell concert fifty years ago.
Oh, that's right. I missed that one, because I was uh--I was, uh--(mutters, and falls asleep)
Jackson!
(wakes up) MILEY STEWART'S HANNAH MONTANA!
You're the worst excuse for an employee I've ever had. You're fired!
But--but what will I do? I never went to college.
That's your problem. (cackles weakly, but looks away while coughing)
Oops, wrong floor. (presses the close door button)
Not so fast lover boy. (runs to the elevator)
(tries to run out but Hannah grabs him and the elevator closes)
TTracy
BTW, hate the outfit.
LLola
BTW, I can change the outfit. You're stuck with the voice (mimics Tracy's voice) forever.
TTracy
It's a nasal condition!
LLola
(mouths Tracy's words)
Now Miley, before you get upset I just want to say-
Me? Upset? No. (puts her hand on Jake's shoulder) I'm just so happy to see you...(pushes her hand down and gets mad) making the worst decision of your life!
(bends down in pain and looks like he's proposing to Hannah)
(smiles) Hello.
OWOld Woman
Oh. Oh my, what's this? A proposal?
(gets up) A proposal? (scoffs) To her? Are you kidding me?
Yeah, we're just teenagers. You know barely more than children, practically babies. Getting married would probably the dumbest thing we could ever do, right Jake? (reaches for his shoulder again)
(gets behind the old lady and uses her as a shield) I don't know if I could call it dumb.
Oh really? What would you call it? Stupid, idiotic, irresponsible? Yeah, I'm good with all those.
OOld Lady
Oh good, the lobby.
No, no. It's the nineteenth floor.
OOld Lady
Close enough. I'll take my chances with the stairs. (leaves)
Look, I know it's sudden but...I love Tracy and I want to be with her forever.
Jake, you barely know her! You barely know yourself! We're talking about a lifetime commitment. You change your phone plans every six weeks!
That's because a new one comes along that I like better.
Then why be stuck with the same phone plan for the rest of your life? If you and Tracy really love each other, you guys will still feel that way in a couple of years.
FGFan Girl
Han! Han! Han! Han! Han! Han! Han! Han! Han!
MMother
She just saw your concert. Would you please sign her program?
(takes a pen and the program) Sure. What's your name, babe?
FGFan Girl
Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-
MMother
It's Tiffany.
Okay. (starts writing) "Dear Tiffany, never make the mistake of marrying too young. Survey shows that teen marriages are more likely to end in the tragedy of divorce! So never let one impulsive decision haunt you until the day you die! Love always, Hannah" (gives the program and pen back) Here you go sweetie.
TTiffany
(turns to her mother) All I wanted was "Rock on".
TTracy
Yes, because we're getting married tonight!
What?!
(wearing her wig with her blond hair covering her face) What?!
Hey daddy! Nacho cheese! I get it! Ugh! (lies back down)
(on the phone) Lilly, I mean it. It's code red! Code red!
(panting and standing next to Miley) Why didn't you say so?
(hangs up and becomes shocked) Man, you weren't kidding about that knot!
(holding a comb with Oliver's hair) And he thought I couldn't get it out.
JRJackson and Rico
(holding a surfboard and singing) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh my gosh, you're in love with Jesse?
(pacing back and forth) I'm not in love with Jesse.
And yet you saw him on Jake's body. Interesting.
Okay, fine. I'm a little bit attracted to him but I can control it because I'm not going to let this ruin what I have with Jake. I mean we have so much history. We have way too much history to throw it all away on some intense, brooding, passionate, (starts smiling and daydreaming) strong, yet sensitive guy-
Miley.
Who has these warm brown eyes that move you like the moon and the tide. A dance as old as time itself.
Well, as long as you can control it.
Control what? (snaps out of it) Oh boy.
The walrus sings at midnight?
The walrus sings at midnight, that's it.
(angry) Daddy, the walrus sings at midnight.
(realizes something) I get it, I get it. Uh...I might go for another run. You know, a little more oneness with the world. (leaves)
[after Oliver's out of earshot, and having just discovered Oliver's got a crush on the nurse.] Good dang, nurse! Oliver is crushing on someone old enough to remember the Beatles!
[confused] The who?
[thinking she said "The Who"] Them too!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.