Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Westerners, I swear, the sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name, but you're not the only religion, and He's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us, and we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me.
You know, I never understood you pagans. You're such petty little things. Always fighting, always happy to sell out your own kind. No wonder you forfeited this planet to us. You are worse than humans. You're worse than demons. And yet you claim to be gods. [snaps Mercury's neck and smirks] And they call me prideful.
Lucifer, you're my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.
What did you just say to me?
Look at yourself... Boo hoo, Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys.
Watch your tone.
Play the victim all you want, but you and me, we know the truth. Dad loved you best, more than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So all this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up.
[To Gabriel] You disloyal-
Oh I'm loyal. To them.
Who? These, so called gods?
To people, Lucifer. People.
So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches, why?
Because Dad was right. They are better than us.
They are broken! Flawed! Abortions!
Damn right they're flawed... But a lot of 'em try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearman Rhino. I've been riding the pine a long time, but I'm in the game now. And I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs.
[whispers] Brother, don't make me do this.
No one makes us do anything.
[to Sam and Dean] Without me, you got zero shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry. But... you can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from, it's still down there, and maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You got to get the cage open, trick my bro back into it, and, uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey - details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know. But the key to the cage, it's out there. Actually it's keys, plural, four keys. Well, four rings... from the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage.
You want to talk? After what you did to us?
After what... what I did to you? I gave you the Colt!
Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't work against the Devil!
I never!
You set us up. We lost people on that suicide run, good people!
Please, I've sold sin to saints for centuries. You think I can't close one little demon?
See, War and Famine, even if I could cram the rings back on their bony fingers, I doubt it would do much good. They're withered husks right now, fetal position on the floor, all thanks to you. So I don't want the rings. What I want is retribution. And I'm going to rip it right out of your ass!
What did you do?
Went over to a demon's nest, had a little massacre. Must be losing my touch, though. Let one of the little toads live. Oops! Also might have given said toad the impression that you left your post last night because you and I are... wait for it... Lovers in League Against Satan. Hello darling. So now death is off the table. Now you get to be on the boss's eternal torment list with little old me.
Oh no, no, no, no. No!
Something else we have in common, apart from our torrid passion, of course: craven self-preservation.
What is this?
All those angels, all those demons, all those sons of bitches...they just don't get it, do they, Sammy?
No, they don't, Dean.
You see, Brady, we're the ones you should be afraid of.
[To Dean] You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.
Thank you... [says with a tiny bit of sarcasm]: I appreciate that..
You're welcome.
So please tell us you have actual good news.
Chicago is about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.
I don't understand your definition of good news.
The world's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little soul.
You sold your soul?
More like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back.
Well then give it back!
I will.
Now!
Did you kiss him?
Sam!
Just wondering.
[awkward silence] No!
[coughs, shows photo of him and Bobby kissing on his iPhone]
Why'd you take a picture?!?
Why'd you have to use tongue?
So Pestilence was spreading swine flu.
Yeah, but not just for giggles. That was step one. Step two is the vaccine. And you think...?
I know. I'll stake my reputation that vaccine is chock full of Grade A, farm-fresh, Croatoan virus.
Simultaneous countrywide distribution. That's quite a plan.
You don't get to be Horsemen for nothing. So you boys better stock up on... well, everything. This time next Thursday, we'll all be living in Zombieland.
This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
