[referring to the deceased's erection] Angel lust. You can be dead, but you're never really dead.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[commenting on his own headstone] Is that the best anyone could come up with? "Father, husband, caregiver"?
What would you prefer? "Introvert, sadist, mindfucker"?
What am I, some knocked-up Victorian wife that has to stay hidden from view?
I, uh, think Mr. Suarez kinda shit himself. Is that normal?
You stopped to eat? Do you have any respect for human life at all?
I have a huge respect for human life! I just didn't know that they can take a dump when they're dead!
Well, they can. Make a note of it!
Boys, I don't like this bickering.
Yeah, and I don't like you sleeping with hairdressers. [Ruth slaps David. David walks away, followed by Nate]
Look, don't take this out on Mom. What is it that you want to say to me?
Well, there's a body that's spent over two hours in a van. Unrefrigerated. Decomposing at a rate much faster than you could ever imagine. Thanks for making my life just that much more difficult. Thanks for undermining my authority with our employees. And thanks for making so clear to me that my choice to dedicate myself to this business and to this family was really stupid, because apparently I would have be rewarded just the same for wasting my life.
Oh, my life is a waste? Well, fuck you. At least I enjoy it.
Well, lucky you.
Dave, at least let me help.
You've helped enough.
I wish that just once people wouldn't act like the clichés that they are.
You both look so happy. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Which isn't very long. You think you have forever, but you don't. Soon you start to get on each other's nerves. Then you don't tell the other person as much as you used to, 'cause, really, what's the point? You thought they understood you, but they never did … not really. Finally, not only do you not tell the other person anything real, you actively start lying to him. And then, when you think it can't get any worse, he up and dies! No matter what you do, you end up alone, not knowing who you are or what you really want!
I don't understand kids! When I was her age, I never would've taken a foot!
David, I can help. I'm a cop. That's what I do for a living.
You find feet?
I don't want any children.
Wow! Who said anything about children?
I was referring to you.
Okay, I'm a terrible mother who's responsible for all your problems! Happy?
No mistake, you guys are undertakers. You take every fucking feeling you have, put it in a box and bury it.
PPaco
[to David] This is some fucked-up way to make a living, you know that?
PPowerful
Hey, where you from, dawg?
[to Mr. and Mrs. Bolin] One moment, please. [leaves the intake room and takes Powerful to the Wisteria Room] "Where you from"? Like in, where my parents were born? San Lorenzo, Puerto Rico. "Where you from" as in, what gang I belong to? I'll tell you what gang I belong to: the gang that's gonna help you bury your friend. The gang that's gonna be there for you and your cholos for when every other fucking home doesn't wanna deal with your tired-ass bullshit. Your friend is dead, man. Now, do you want me to help you, or do you want to just go heads up?
[Nate and David have lunch at a diner with Matt Gilardi from Kroehner Services International and talk about their decision to not sell Fisher & Sons.]
MGMatt Gilardi
Okay, I'll make it simple; you either accept my offer by the end of the day or I'll make it my personal mission to bury you by the end of the month. David, you in on this suicide mission?
You just threatened my family.
MGMatt Gilardi
Let's not be melodramatic.
What do you expect us to do? Run and hide, sell and be grateful, pack up and move?
MGMatt Gilardi
If you're smart.
You have the entire Kroehner organization behind you, and what do we have? You. Because one day when your mind isn't on Fisher & Sons, I will find you or someone you love. [Gilardi laughs.] I'm not saying anyone's going to die. There are tragedies far worse things than death: things you couldn't even dream of, you spineless, candy-ass, corporate fuck. Just give me a reason. It's your decision. Are we worth the trouble, Mr. Gilardi? [Gilardi looks nervously at David.] Lunch is over, get lost.
[to Matt Gilardi] Are you deaf? [Gilardi leaves.]
PPaco
[to David] You ever see sunlight, or you gotta avoid it?
This is my … uh, my girlfriend, Brenda.
I prefer the term "fuck puppet."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.