Bad luck, come and get me.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Jan introduces her new friend Kerry Hathaway to Peter, who is instantly lovestruck]
Pleased to meet me.
How would you like to get Kerry back? Now listen, I-
I don't trust you, you stole my girl!
I did not steal your girl.
You did.
If you guys are starting that again, I'm getting out of here.
It's not your fault, Alice. [glares at the kids] Was it, kids?
Like I just said, "If you take a joke too far, someone could get hurt".
[Mike and Carol --with sad expressions-- look at the broken remains of the bust.]
Gosh, it won a prize, too.
[Carol picks up the third place ribbon.]
Well...! [sighs] So much for third place!
All right, all right! That's it! Everybody upstairs! And no allowance for two weeks! And that goes for all of you!
[Jan is mad at her siblings]
If I were an only child, I wouldn't have any phony brothers and sisters! Who needs you?!
You mean that, Jan?
You're right, I sure do!
Well, if that's what you want, I'm sure it can be arranged. Right, you guys? [Marcia, Peter, Bobby and Cindy agree]
You just lost yourself five brothers and sisters!
And you can have the whole house to yourself.
Great!
For us, too!
As far as you're concerned, we don't even exist.
Yeah, we're not even here!
Consider us invisible! Come on, gang, let's disappear. [Everybody but Jan leaves]
[The boys return]
What are we leaving for?
Yeah, this is our room!
[Jan leaves, Greg slams the door after her]
[Jan prepares to leave for the library, Marcia stops her]
Hey, just a minute, you!
What? [Marcia yanks her sweater back] What do you think you're doing?
That's my sweater!
So what? I always borrow your sweater!
Well, not any more. You no longer have a sister named Marcia, and if there's no Marcia, there's no Marcia's sweater.
Okay, kids, okay.
Mom, we made a deal, remember?
Yes, I remember.
And I'm sticking to it.
Jan, do you want to stick to it?
Yes!
Fine. I'll just take my invisible sweater and [snaps fingers] vanish. [leaves]
That's not fair!
I'm afraid it is, honey, you can't have it both ways. So long. [Jan leaves]
[Greg and Peter show new housekeeper Kay how Alice used to shoot the basketball]
KKay
That was Alice; I'm Kay.
[Bobby, as the new school hall monitor, had reported Cindy for an infraction and she's angry with him]
[Takes a slice of cheese from the fridge and throws it on Bobby's plate] Here!
What's the cheese for?
For you! All rats eat cheese! [leaves angrily]
[Cindy is explaining her predicament to Carol]
And he wrote down the names, even mine!
But that's his job, sweetheart.
Yes, but I'm his very own sister!
Well, that doesn't give you any special privileges. The same rules apply to you that apply to anyone else.
[angrily] I don't see why they should.
Let me see... I'll try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that Bobby was a policeman, and I drove through a red light. Accidentally, of course. Well, I would expect him to give me a ticket.
Your own son?
Absolutely.
Boy, if I ever had a son who was a policeman and he gave me a ticket, I'd give him a spanking!
[Bobby comes in, Cindy leaves angrily]
I guess she was complaining about me.
You guessed right.
And I guess you took her side.
You guessed wrong.
You didn't?
No. Well, Cindy didn't like it, but you were just doing your duty.
[Bobby leaves]
I wonder if he really would give me a ticket.
I think you better spend some time thinking about your driving habits while you do not use the car for a week!
A week? That's not fair!
Well, it is a lot fairer than not using it for a year, a lustrum, a decade, or a century!
But, Dad, it wasn’t a…!
YOU WANT TO TRY FOR A MILLENNIUM!
[True to this scene, when Greg argues, Mike responds be threatening to take away the car privileges --from Greg-- for a year, a lustrum, a decade, a century, or a millennium. That is, which is 1, 5, 10, 100, or 1,000 years. In the spite of that, Greg complies --before his father grounds him further and not just from the car privileges-- and goes to his room as his father asks.]
[At the grocery store.]
JJenny
[to Carol] Greg borrowed George's car. And he bought tickets (from the stadium) so he could see some rock concert.
[The scene cuts from Carol at the store to her in Mike's den. After Jenny told Carol that Greg borrowed George's car to buy tickets from the stadium, she reports this to Mike when she gets home. Now the viewers see Carol back home in Mike's den after the incident.]
[to Mike] Jenny says he borrowed George's car. Now if he didn't, why would she say it?
Oh honey, I cannot believe Greg would deliberately disobey us!
[Jan had signed the kids up for an amateur show to raise money for their parents' anniversary present]
[laughs] Jan, you dingaling! We got about as much chance of getting on that show, and winning first prize, and getting the money as we do of robbing a bank!
Hey!
Forget it.
[Mike, Carol and Alice are watching TV and see the kids win third prize instead of the first prize of $100 they were hoping for]
THIRD PRIZE? What a gyp! [She goes over to the TV and angrily turns it off] That's the last time I ever watch THAT crooked channel!
Something suddenly came up.
[Marcia walks out into the backyard and calls the boys — Peter and Bobby — in to wash up for dinner.]
Hey, you guys...!
[Her nose gets hit by the football]
OH! MY NOSE!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.