I'm afraid we were going to get rid of daddy!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Well then?
We're sick of doing all these things.
Do this, do that, they're a real pain.
Yeah, they're too bossy.
[to all the kids] When your mother and I got married, the man said it was going to be better or worse. We have had enough worse. Now we are going to have some better. Effectively immediately, we share. And we share like everyone else.
[Cindy's doll has gone missing and she blames Bobby]
Come on, Bobby, you can tell us.
What?
Where did you hide Cindy's doll?
I didn't hide it, like I told Mom.
Honest?
Honest.
Would you swear to it? The sacred oath?
Even the sacred oath.
Boy, that proves he didn't take it. No sir!
[In girls' room]
Are you sure Bobby took her?
Sure I am, he said he hated Kitty!
I heard him say it lots of times.
[crying] And she doesn't even have her bottle, she'll starve to death!
Come on. [takes Cindy's hand]
Where are we going?
We're gonna get that doll back.
Yeah. [They leave for boys' room]
[Back in boys' room]
If Bobby didn't take it, Cindy shouldn't say he did.
Right. Come on, she can't accuse him and get away with it. [They leave for girls' room]
[Girls enter the boys' room]
Bobby, you give Kitty back or... [they realize room is empty]
[Boys enter the girls' room]
Now listen here, Cindy, you... [they realize room is empty, Greg turns towards the open bathroom door] Come on.
[The children meet in the bathroom]
Bobby, you give Kitty back!
You stop picking on him!
What did you do with her?
He didn't do anything with her!
He did too!
I did not!
You did so!
He did not so!
Oh yeah?
Yeah!
[Mike and Carol enter]
Hey, hey, hey, what's going on in here?
[The kids argue]
Hold it! Will somebody fill me in?
Well, Cindy's doll is missing, and the girls think Bobby took it.
Well, Bobby?
I didn't take it!
He did too!
He did not!
[The kids argue]
CUT!
[Mike is explaining circumstantial evidence]
Circum-special?
No, circumstantial. It means things look different than they really are.
You mean like when a lady puts on false eyelashes?
Well I guess women are okay for some things.
[The Bradys will all go on their first camping trip together]
But mother, us on a camping trip? We've told you it's way worse than death!
Do you expect me to sleep in a tent?
With wild animals?
Girls, we're not going to Africa. We're just going camping.
And camping is for boys!
Camping is for boys and girls. Why, it's so much fun falling asleep on the ground.
On the ground, all those beetles are crawling around. Yuck!
Yeah, yuck!
Why, you haven't got the faintest idea how delightful it is out there under the stars, being lulled to sleep by the sound of crickets, and then awakening in the morning to the smell of bacon frying over an open fire.
How many times have you been camping, Mom?
Well, never, but I've heard about it.
And I've heard about it, too, and you can count me out. [collapses on the bed]
You are counted in, young lady. We have three new brothers and a new father, and if they like camping, we like camping. Now, there'll be no more discussion about it; the decision has been made.
[Carol slams down a sand timer — or hourglass timer — in front of Greg who is on the phone.]
[to Harvey] Hang on a minute. [to Mike and Carol] What gives?
That is how long you are allowed on the phone. And when the sand runs out, it is "Goodbye Charlie".
I am talking to Harvey.
Then it's "Goodbye Harvey"!
[Mike and Carol start up the family meeting about the phone bill.]
[to the kids] All right! We all know that in the past, the telephone problem has been absolutely impossible!
It has not bothered me.
Me neither.
[turns to Bobby and Cindy] Oh yeah? Well, it has bothered me. And it has bothered our household budget. [then to the rest of the kids] Fortunately, I have the solution to the problem and here it is.
[Mike unwraps the gift and it turns out to be a payphone.]
[cheering] TA-DA!
That looks like a pay telephone.
That is a pay telephone.
Honey, that looks like a real payphone.
Precisely. Didn’t you notice the other one is gone, the other phone?
Hey, it is gone.
I don’t dig.
What’s the point?
The point is, this payphone is for all you kids. And the household budget stops taking a beating. From now on, you are given an addition to your allowance for two calls per day. After that, those calls you make is then deducted from your allowance.
Did you say, two calls a day?
[turns to Peter] That’s right, Peter. The rest then comes out of your allowance.
Two calls?! But I average at least ten!
[turns to Jan] Well, there goes your allowance.
[Mike turns to the rest of the kids.]
This payphone should teach you kids not to monopolize the phone. And you have to be especially careful about toll calls.
[Mike turns to Carol.]
[to Carol] Did you know that every call you make to Martha is a toll call?
[laughs] Well, you don’t expect me to use that thing.
Very good, you can use my phone in the den.
[sarcastically] Oh, thanks a lot.
You’re welcome.
[The kids have a discussion over the pay phone.]
Two calls? Even when you’re arrested you get to make one call.
And that you make to your lawyer.
Come on, let’s tell them how we feel.
[The kids get up and turn back to their parents.]
We don't want a payphone! You can't lie on the floor and talk!
That should make your calls shorter, won't it?
Suppose we promise to be more careful.
[to Greg] Sorry, son. We've tried discussion, we've tried egg timers, we've even tried threats. Nothing worked.
You're right, Greg.
Now you use the pay phone.
But Dad...!
[to Marcia] Sorry, Marcia. But maybe this is going to solve the problem. [turns to all the rest of the kids.] DISMISSED!
I'm sorry, I won't tell anybody!
Won't tell what?
I told you, I can't tell you! I promised Bobby, the only reason he told me is, cause I'm his brother.
Well, so am I, dummy!
Nobody said goodbye to me or anything, and I didn't think they cared.
Oh sweetheart, everybody cares. And I bet you your baseball cards you can't guess who cares the most.
You? [Carol nods] Even though I'm only a step?
Listen, the only steps in this house are those... [shows Bobby the stairs] ...the ones that lead up to your bedroom. So how about marching right back up there?
Hey Dad, Mom and me are back home again!
Good, cause that's where you both belong!
[About the election.]
Greg might probably beat her anyway!
You say that once more and I'm going to bop you!
You're guaranteed to be cured in 24 hours.
[raspy voice] 24 hours!?
Unless you break out in a rash. Then you take it off.
Now, don't let the girls catch you hiding these.
If they catch me, should I eat the present?
Eat it! [to Greg] He's been watching too many of those spy programs.
Marcia! Will you please tell Bobby to stop it?
Listen, Cindy. You promised you would stay in the boys' room with Bobby and color.
That is what we are doing! We are coloring!
I'm coloring a tiger and Bobby's coloring a giraffe. And now Bobby wants to color me!
You?
He wants to color my spots!
I thought they would look better in green.
Go back and color your coloring books. And Bobby? Her spots would look rotten in green.
Hey, how about blue? I am going to make her spots blue.
I like them red, like they are!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.