Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
All the way in step aerobics?
But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it?
I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
But you have my surname written on it there.
How do I know that’s your surname?
Because I just told you it was my surname.
You could be lying.
Why would I lie?
To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos?
Stalker, maybe.
Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
I’m not a stalker.
Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket?
No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
How do I know you’re not just telling me that?
Cos that’s me standing beside her.
I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
I am this man.
It could be you.
It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
Pray for her?
No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
We think this issue should be cancelled.
Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
I’ll do it.
Excuse me?
I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
Really?
Absolutely.
No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
She’s not dead, Erin!
Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael?
You terrify me.
You can’t be the editor!
You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
I don’t really believe in lesbians.
Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
Really?
Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office?
I believe so.
Is she not a vegetarian, Da?
Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
Read all about the wee dyke.
We will not be censored!
Lesbians really do exist!
I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
Come on, Clare.
I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
Coward!
(after a choral performance) Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.
That summer was a remarkable one. It was the summer we dared to dream. For generations, we’d known nothing but violence. Nothing but hatred. But finally we were saying, “Enough is enough.” Finally, we were saying, “Let’s give peace a chance.”
She’s up here!
Jesus Christ!
She’s pretending she’s on Parkinson again.
(Off-screen) Parkinson? Does she know what time it is? I’ll Parkinson her. I’ve enough on my plate without Parkinson.
Close the door! (But Orla comes in and closes the door) No, Orla. Leave, then close the door.
And it was Wogan, for your information!
Will any of your crowd be going, love?
My crowd?
Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just…
I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
Thank you?
We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
I beg to differ.
I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
I am a lad.
Aye, so you are, James.
Okay, how much money do we have?
Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
That’s a shame.
How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis?
We’ll call it 16 quid.
Could we call it £1.76?
No, we fucking couldn’t.
How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments?
Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks?
Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie?
Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis?
GET OUT!
(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy) I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you?
Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
Okay, I think we should just move on.
The hairdresser certainly did.
She’s coming!
Who?
The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
Sister Michael! Shit!
Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so…
They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.
Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
Precisely.
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