(reading from the suggestion box) Suggestion number one, the meat is a little dry. I would agree with that. Suggestion number two, make that uptight blond guy stop hovering over us while we're trying to... (realizing the customers are referring to him) eat.
I would agree with that. Now let's see...(shuffling around the papers of suggestions and picks out one) Suggestion number three, lose the waiter guy, he reminds me of my mother.
[on what the hairstylist told them about hereditary baldness] If she's [meaning Bev] bald, that means that WE could go bald! This is her hair! Look at- look at- look at this! [Jackie puts on the wig and begins to imitate Bev] "Oh Roseanne! A woman your size shouldn't wear horizontal stripes, you should wear black! Or stay home! And another thing, dear, I don't mean to alarm you but I think your little D.J. might be retarded!"
Why do you keep asking me what I'm gonna do? What is it with you and all the questions? Why can't a guy just do what he's gotta do without being asked?
No, I'm not. I just don't know what to do with David. He scares me, Fred. I mean, he's probably down there right now crying, or reading, or drawing a horse.
[to D.J] Hey! Black people are just like us. They're every bit as good as us and any people who don't think so is just a bunch of banjo-picking, cousin-dating, barefoot embarrassments to respectable white-trash like us!
Well, here's a really good test. Have you ever done it, and when you were through, your hands were just filled with his hair, but you don't remember pulling it out?
[To David after finding out he's going out with another girl] Well David an date is an easy thing to break. I could do it for ya. It'd be fun... what's the little bitch's name?
Y'know, D.J., bees are very intelligent creatures, and their amazingly devoted. I read someplace that if you kill one, the whole hive comes and finds your scent and kills you.
