When you first met Dad, did you want to kiss him all the time?
Well, somebody had to do it. And you know me: work, work, work.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(to Roseanne while Roseanne and Jackie discussing Arnie kissing Roseanne) Well, you know what? You're right. I don't like it when a guy thinks he can come up and handle you like you're a rubber thong in a discount bin.
Arnie (to Roseanne): You coming back down?
No, I got a heli-port on the roof.
Cool.
Roseanne, do you remember Mrs. Osmand?
Oh yeah, she was scary.
Who's Mrs. Osmand?
Oh, she was this madwoman over on Elm Ridge who had this black haggy hair and used to dress up like a vampire and jump out at us.
Too bad she never did it on Halloween.
Hey, sis, didn't she wind up in jail for the criminally insane?
Yeah, and I think I read somewhere that she just got released.
Do you think she'll come back to Lanford?
If she's truly insane she will.
(After hearing Becky's mean attitude) Geez, I thought I was the Wicked Witch.
( To Darlene popping her head up from looking in the fridge) Why don't you shut your thin lipped little mouth!
I love my children.
JJudge
Then why did you murder them!
Your honor, all I wanted was 10 minutes alone in my own bathroom!
You can't put someone on the stand I already killed!
Allegedly killed, your Honor.
JJudge
Overruled.
Mom, are you through in the bathroom yet?
Honey, I'm through in there.
Mom, I did my homework, but I still need you to sign here.
Mom, can you make me a sandwich?
Roseanne (opens her eyes and sees her family): Oh no! You're alive!
And don't say a thing to mom about you being a cop.
Why not?
Because I don't want her dropping dead of a heart attack at the dinner table!
Why not?
Here I am, 5 o'clock in the morning, stuffing breadcrumbs up a dead bird's butt!
Beverly (to Jackie): How could you do something so impulsive, so wreckless! You could get killed or maimed! Roseanne, did you know about this?
I guess so...
BBeverly
Well why didn't she say something to me about it?
I don't want to talk about this anymore! (starts sobbing)
Well that's one thing I love about this family, we don't want to talk about something, so we bring it up at the dinner table! Here! Have some turkey! (slaps down a grotesquely carved turkey)
I don't want to be expressive! I couldn't care less about poetry! I just want to graduate high school so I can get on with my life, so I can get a job and get out of this hellhole town!
But if you could be expressive, what would you say?
[Darlene has to recite her poem aloud]
To whom it concerns, Darlene's work will be late
It fell on her pancakes and stuck to her plate.
To whom it concerns, my mom made me write this
And I'm just a kid, so how could I fight this?
To whom it concerns, I lost my assignment
Maybe I'll get lucky, solitary confinement.
To whom it concerns, Darlene's great with a ball
But guys don't watch tomboys when they're cruising the hall.
To whom it concerns, I just turned thirteen
Too short to be quarterback, too plain to be queen.
To whom it concerns, I'm not made of steel
When I get blindsided, my pain is quite real.
I don't mean to squawk, but it really burns.
I just thought I'd mention it, to whom it concerns.
MMartin
[reading poem at Culture Night] Away, away, why do you stay? Fly away, bird. It looks at me and still it hops, and hops, and hops. Fly away.
[aside, to Jackie] Got a gun on ya?
MMartin
It spreads it's wings, and flies away, away, it does not look back. That's it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.