Trying to do a jump jump kick.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
You know, from video games. When your second jump is in the air, then you do a really cool kick.
Somehow you two are dumber together.
[gets back up] Or we're smarter together.
[also gets back up] Got it. [he and Scissors try to high five each other but they slap their faces and fall to the floor the final time]
[The trio are doing meditation poses until they're interrupted by thumping sounds from the fourth floor]
What the heck was that?!
SPScissors & Paper
[darkly] The Rat Bros.
[They show up at the Rat Bros' apartment on the fourth floor]
[answers the door; smugly] 'Sup, losers?
Losers?
Come on.
Man, you're cool.
What is going on in there?!
Oh, we're doing pogo tricks, brah. [shows the trio his brothers: Brody, Brogan and Derf, on their pogo sticks] We're hosting a super cool pogo party this Sunday. You're welcome to come, except… oh, that's right…you don't have pogo sticks.
Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro. Nice, bro.
[Brody closes the door on the trio with his pogo stick; back at their apartment]
[frustrated] Ugh! I hate those Rat Bros, yet, I care so much about what they think of me.
We have to get pogo sticks. If we don't, we won't be cool.
Skydiving? Wow, Paper. I was just about to be your girlfriend, but not anymore, you boring turkey! [pulls a lever, causing Paper to eject and laughs maniacally]
P1Pencil #1
No conflict pirates?
P2Pencil #2
Swords as decoration?
P3Pencil #3
You wear glasses?
You wear glasses?
P3Pencil #3
Yeah, but I wear them as well.
[The Pencil clones all press a button together, causing Paper to eject and laugh diabolically]
You can run, but you can't fly! [laughs evilly; activating his drone]
[dramatic] You think you can hide from me?! Well, you're wrong because I… will… seek you! [playfully] Ready or not, here I come! [annoyed] Rock, you're behind the lamp. You're really bad at this game.
[Rock notices and sighs sadly]
Rock, I need your help to find Scissors.
You have to find me first. [giggles]
I mean, you're wearing camouflage against the blue wall.
[notices] Okay, I'll do it. But only if I can keep playing.
Sure. Go nuts.
[Rock cartwheels back to the camouflage wall and sighs sadly]
I am not good at this game.
[The trio are knitting a friendship blanket together while singing a song when they hear a banging sound from the door]
[off-screen] It's Lou. Let me in.
Shoot, it's the landlord!
Don't answer it. I don't want to deal with that pile of garbage.
Paper! He's not that bad.
No, I mean, he's literally trash.
[Rock opens the door, revealing Lou, a grumpy landlord standing in the doorway]
Lou, can you please put on pants?
Pants? What am I, rich? You'd think I work on Wall Street? Oh, look at me. I wear pants and own a sports team. Why don't I buy a Lamborghini, too, wear that around my legs?
[as the end credits roll] Look at all these Hollywood phonies. Oh, Bob. Bob pronounces it "croi-ssant." Very annoying. Kurt, he's a fancy guy! Drinks seltzer! What are you, not getting enough free air? You got to pay to drink it? And let me tell you something about Nickelodeon, and I won't let them censor this! They... [a card sequence reading, "Oops! Please stand by" appears] I hope you like this episode, 'cause now, they get a lot worse!
The Susan is right.
The Susan is always right.
Well, this is the first time The Susan has talked, remember?
We're sorry.
We should have never changed you.
Can you forgive us?
[pacing back and forth] What am I gonna do about this audition?! Without my eyebrows, no one'll read my emotions!
You seem very calm about this.
No, I'm not! I'm freaking out!
I can't-uh, do you need a snack? Are you cold? Did you slam your hand in a new or possibly old car door? [Rock draws angry eyebrows on two notepads and puts them on his forehead] Oh, oh, oh, you're upset. Don't worry. I think I can help you with my robotics invention. I'll make you… a pair of… animatronic eyebrows!
You made money by faking injuries and suing people? That's terrible.
[mockingly] Oh, moral Rock doesn't like making his money through fraudulent lawsuits.
Broke or not, you still have to pay for your pizza. Maybe it's time you stop being a bum and get a job.
[mockingly once again] Oh, judgmental Paper calls me a bum just 'cause I fit the definition of one.
Why don't you ever wanna find work? Is it because you're not really good at anything?
[offended] Hey!
Yeah, Scissors is good at lot of things, like, uh, sunglasses.
Forget you guys. I'll find work when I want to.
Well, until you do, you can't have pizza with us.
[shocked] What?!
In fact, every time you walk through that door, Rock and I will be eating pizza until it motivates you to get a job.
Awesome!
[groans] Fine! You just watch. I'll have pizza money in no time. [bumps his leg on the table] Ow, my leg or-
JJudge
In the case of Scissors vs. Paper and his dangerous coffee table, the court rules in favor of Paper.
[rips the bandages off himself] Dang it! Alright. I'll get a job.
I've been fired from every job I've tried, and this was kind of my last option. But I guess I'll go home and tell my roommates they were right about me. I'm a loser.
[weakly and stuffed with a huge belly] Scissors, did you… [stomach grumbles while he clutches it] Oh. …get a job yet?
[pushes Paper aside, also stuffed with a huge belly] Please say yes.
Guys, I can't talk right now. I'm hiding out in a chamomile field.
Oh, of course you are. Then you leave us no choice. [pulls a giant pizza pie] We're going to eat the most decadent pizza ever created.
No!
The Ultimate Meat Huggers Double Stuffed Deep Dishanator with 50 pounds… of cheese. [Rock starts crying as he eats a slice while Scissors looks confused] It's so… [grabs his stomach while groaning as it grumbles] ...good.
[whimpers as Paper eats another slice] Oh, there's pizza underneath the pizza! [he and Paper eat more slices until they fall on their sides and holding their bellies in pain]
[gets an idea] Wait. I know what I'm good at! [runs away, dropping his phone]
Oh, Rock, he ran away. We're gonna come find you, Scissors. We just want to have… [his stomach gurgles; groans] …as much fun… Oh, no. …as we're having!
No more pizza! NO MORE PIZZA!!!!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.