“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Coulson

I heard what you did for me. I think it's time that we remove this.

Coulson

Disengage bracelet.

Skye

Are you kidding me?

Coulson

I thought you'd like that.

Fitz

Is science and technology what you imagined, Agent Ward?

Ward

Yep. No uniforms, no rope course, no defined muscularity on anyone.

Fitz

No marching in place, no I.Q.s in double digits.

Skye

"Bad seed" isn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. term, Ward. Just a term.

Coulson

We need to root out all the secrets.

May

Agent Ward and I have been having sex.

It's true what the other guys say - you are the smartest person to come through here.

Fitz

Is that what they say? Yeah? Well, Simmons is probably smarter, technically, but that - that's just because she likes homework more than life itself.

Ward

Skye looks young enough to blend in.

Skye

You’re not exactly Old Man River, and Fitz looks younger than us.

Fitz

Time will come when you won’t make fun of me for that. You’ll be jealous. You’ll be jealous, wrinkly old hags.

Coulson

Let me get that.

Simmons

Oh. Thanks, Dad...who looks far too young to have a daughter my age.

Fitz

How's your Scottish accent?

Skye

[in a poor Scottish accent] I don't know. You tell me how great it is, laddie.

Fitz

[in a perfect American accent] American, then.

Fitz

[to Skye] You're the least supportive pretend girlfriend I've ever had.

Simmons

[arguing with Coulson, pretending to act as his daughter] All mom ever wanted was your love. To be with you! In our two-story Victorian home in the Cotswolds! But could you even give her a moment, what with your banking job requiring you to travel to the States from Tuesday to Saturday every other week?! No!

[interrupts] I'm terribly sorry about your loss, dear. [turns towards Coulson] As for you, now is your chance to do better. Why don't you see that you take it?

Simmons

Thank you, sir.

Let's go. [the passenger walks away]

Simmons

He's right. You never had time for her, but you made time for your work! And your prostitutes!

Coulson

Prostitutes? Plural?

Skye

Fitz, have you ever heard of an 0-8-4 being a person?

Fitz

No, but I suppose it's possible. I'd hate to meet the guy.

Coulson

Garrett? What the hell are you doing here?

Well, as opposed to the Level 8 jackass I'm staring at, I still follow orders.

Coulson

You're the worst at following orders.

How did Coulson score such a sweet ride?

Ward

He died.

Trip

That's tight.

Well, I'm a bit of a sweet talker when I need to be. [about Ward] You wouldn't believe what I could talk this son of a gun into.

My head's still ringing from the last visitor.

At least the last visitor left you with a head. I'm not always that considerate. I'm interested in one of your newer projects.

Hmm? Oh, but there are so many to choose from. [Garrett grabs him by the tongue.]

Let me be clear: you have no rights. You have no lawyer. The only thing keeping Agent Coulson here from throwing you out of this plane is the very weak heartbeat of a young agent downstairs, and the only incentive I have for not tearing your tongue out is that you use it to answer my questions. Is that clear?